Ransom Everglades School: Difference between revisions
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On September 20th 2004, Republican Senator Bill Frist asked, "Are schools like Ransom responsible for the loathing generated in the Middle East?". This caused huge controversy in Miami. The Miami Herald writes, "Ransom is not at fault for terrorism. Terrorism is repsonsible for terrorism. People hate ransom because, they hate freedom and, its fruits. They are envious of our big swimming pool, our sail boats and wealthy Jewish women. They hate us because of our popped collars and creatine. Well, we have our religion: democracy. You can keep your Islam, Mr. Frist. We're not in this world for what we can get out of it but, what we can give back" |
On September 20th 2004, Republican Senator Bill Frist asked, "Are schools like Ransom responsible for the loathing generated in the Middle East?". This caused huge controversy in Miami. The Miami Herald writes, "Ransom is not at fault for terrorism. Terrorism is repsonsible for terrorism. People hate ransom because, they hate freedom and, its fruits. They are envious of our big swimming pool, our sail boats and wealthy Jewish women. They hate us because of our popped collars and creatine. Well, we have our religion: democracy. You can keep your Islam, Mr. Frist. We're not in this world for what we can get out of it but, what we can give back" |
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==Is It Acceptable for a Senior to Piss his Bladder Out in Your Locker At Ransom?== |
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Controversy over the ethics of locker urination has been prevalent at Ransom ever since the 2004 football season. A young sophomore student had showed up eager to attend this day's football practice. Little did he know what inside his locker a tragic tale of urine and football pads had unfolded. As he tried them on he noticed the odor. Is this urine? Yes, yes it is. |
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Coach Howlan (huminatarian, heroe, alcoholic, equipment manager) consoled him, "Well, just practice in 'em, pissant". Eventually, he caved to the young man's weakn and unwarranted distress and, adminstered a new pair of football pads. Mr. Howlan was only trying to allow social capitalism to proceed unhinged from the shackles of hippie socialism. But, this time the striped shirt quarterbacks lost and the little guy won. Should he have been forced to play in urine due to his inferior social status? The debate still rages on at Ransom and, I am sure someone, somewhere will be peed on again. |
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Revision as of 05:46, 10 February 2007
 | The neutrality of this article is disputed. |
| School type | Private, Independent |
| Religious affiliation | None |
| Opened | 1903 |
| Location | Coconut Grove, Florida, USA |
| Enrollment 2006-2007 | 850 students |
| Grades | 6-12 |
| Campus surroundings | Urban |
| School Mascot | Raider |
| School colors | Mossy Green and Columbia Blue |
| School Hours | 7:45 AM to 3:15 PM |
| Average Class Size | 12.8 |
| Athletic Rival | Gulliver Preparatory School |
Ransom Everglades consists of two educational institutions in Coconut Grove, Florida, one middle school and one upper school. The two schools, the Everglades School for Girls and Ransom, a school for boys, merged in 1974.
It is a prestigious and extremely well-marketed preparatory school in Miami, with an excellent record of sending students to Ivy League colleges and other top tier schools, and a challenging and wide ranging academic program. The school has some of the best course offerings and facilities in South Florida for a school of its size, and some people feel it is comparable to a small college. Despite its size, a comprehensive sports program exists, including a nationally ranked sailing team and an anually top-10 finishing cross country team.
Admissions is competitive and tuition costs approximately $20,000 without financial aid, which is available. Graduating classes tend to number around 130-150 students, almost all of whom go to 4 year colleges, primarily out of state.
The Everglades School for Girls was started by Marie B. Swenson in the 1950s; Ransom, intended as an all-boys school, was started in 1903 by Paul C. Ransom as the Adirondack-Florida School. Students originally migrated from the northern school in the Adirondacks to the southern Florida school as the seasons changed. This campus has now become the upper school (grades ninth through twelth) of Ransom Everglades. A boarding option was officially dropped in the late 70s and finally dropped de facto in the early 80s.
The upper high school, formerly The Ransom School, is located on the shore of Biscayne Bay. The middle school, formerly the Everlgades School, is about one and a half miles from the upper school and is not located on the water, but is a mile away from a residential neighborhood and the restaurants and shops of Coconut Grove.
Student Body
Ransom enjoys recruiting only the highest class students. If students do not own a minimum of 50 striped shirts, they are to be scorned. This is not to say that they are not accepted. But, they certainly are not lauded and befriended by teachers. This practice results in only the most asthetically pleasing campus with only the finest breed Miami has to offer. Ransom prides itself on grooming these fine young boys and girls for the most elite schools. Parents agree; if you want a child who goes to Hah-vard they should go to Ransom (we wouldn't want to be embarassed when asked about our children's schooling at Nobu dinner parties). All in all, this is a school for only the finest social elite and, self worthy individuals.
Is Ransom Why The Terrorists Hate Us?
On September 20th 2004, Republican Senator Bill Frist asked, "Are schools like Ransom responsible for the loathing generated in the Middle East?". This caused huge controversy in Miami. The Miami Herald writes, "Ransom is not at fault for terrorism. Terrorism is repsonsible for terrorism. People hate ransom because, they hate freedom and, its fruits. They are envious of our big swimming pool, our sail boats and wealthy Jewish women. They hate us because of our popped collars and creatine. Well, we have our religion: democracy. You can keep your Islam, Mr. Frist. We're not in this world for what we can get out of it but, what we can give back"
Is It Acceptable for a Senior to Piss his Bladder Out in Your Locker At Ransom?
Controversy over the ethics of locker urination has been prevalent at Ransom ever since the 2004 football season. A young sophomore student had showed up eager to attend this day's football practice. Little did he know what inside his locker a tragic tale of urine and football pads had unfolded. As he tried them on he noticed the odor. Is this urine? Yes, yes it is.
Coach Howlan (huminatarian, heroe, alcoholic, equipment manager) consoled him, "Well, just practice in 'em, pissant". Eventually, he caved to the young man's weakn and unwarranted distress and, adminstered a new pair of football pads. Mr. Howlan was only trying to allow social capitalism to proceed unhinged from the shackles of hippie socialism. But, this time the striped shirt quarterbacks lost and the little guy won. Should he have been forced to play in urine due to his inferior social status? The debate still rages on at Ransom and, I am sure someone, somewhere will be peed on again.