Emotional abuse

Definition of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a person's self-concept to the point where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of all people: love and protection. Emotional abuse is always a component of physical abuse or sexual abuse, and is considered to be far more damaging.

Several researchers have attempted to define the concept of emotional abuse. For example, Follingstad et al. (1990) described six components of emotional abuse (based on their experience and the work of Walker, 1984):

1. Verbal attacks (ridicule, verbal harassment, name calling)
2. Isolation (social or financial)
3. Jealousy/possessiveness (even with family, friends, and pets)
4. Verbal threats of harm, abuse, or torture
5. Threats to divorce, abandon, or have an affair
6. Damage to or destruction of personal property

Types of emotional abuse

Emotional abuse can be experienced at any stage in life, throughout childhood (e.g., through abusive parents, or bullying at school), adolescence (e.g., abusive girlfriend, abusive boyfriend), adulthood (e.g., abusive relationships), and even with older people (e.g., neglect, nursing homes abuse). Emotional abuse can also take place on larger scales, such as group emotional abuse, racial oppression and bigotry. A more "mild" case might be that of workplace abuse. Workplace abuse is a large cause of workplace-related stress, which in turn is a strong cause of illness, both physical and mental.

Community-based harassment, or gang stalking, is the adult equivalent of schoolyard bullying. Multiple individuals participate in the harassment of a single individual. However, rather than attack the victim physically, techniques are used to undermine a person psychologically. This can be far more damaging because not only is it hard to prove, but it is extremely traumatizing to the victim. What sets community-based harassment apart is that its reason is often obscure to the victim. Without a solid reason for its occurrence, victims are often dismissed as delusional. In addition, this form of harassment often leaves the target a victim of ridicule among friends and family because of the subtle nature of the attacks, which further compounds the trauma. Psychological professionals, having received their own form of operant conditioning, look for diagnoses instead of considering that abuse might actually be occurring. At the political level, this type of harassment knows no bounds and will continue no matter where the target moves. The objective is to make the target appear crazy, or to isolate and impoverish the target. Suicide, incarceration or death are also stated goals. The KGB and Stasi, among other intelligence services, have used this technique to disable opponents.

Effects of emotional abuse on children

Emotional abuse has long lasting effects, , and in the case of children it can result in serious emotional and/or behavioural problems, including depression, lack of attachment or emotional bond to a parent or guardian, low cognitive ability and educational achievement, and poor social skills.

One study which looked at emotionally abused children in infancy and then again during their preschool years consistently found them to be angry, uncooperative and unattached to their primary caregiver. The children also lacked creativity, persistence and enthusiasm.

Children who experience rejection are more likely than accepted children to exhibit hostility, aggressive or passive-aggressive behaviour, to be extremely dependent, to have negative opinions of themselves and their abilities, to be emotionally unstable or unresponsive, and to have a negative perception of the world around them.

Parental verbal aggression (e.g., yelling, insulting) or symbolic aggression (e.g., slamming a door, giving the silent treatment) toward children can have serious consequences. Children who experience these forms of abuse demonstrate higher rates of physical aggressiveness, delinquency and interpersonal problems than other children. Children whose parents are additionally physically abusive are even more likely to experience such difficulties.

Children who see or hear their mothers being abused are victims of emotional abuse. Growing up in such an environment is terrifying and severely affects a child's psychological and social development. Male children may learn to model violent behaviour while female children may learn that being abused is a normal part of relationships. This contributes to the intergenerational cycle of violence.

Effects of emotional abuse on men

In a study that specifically addressed the issue of abuse against men, Simonelli and Ingram (1998) assessed psychological distress and depression among college men experiencing emotional or physical abuse in their present or most recent relationships. They found that 90% of their sample reported experiencing emotional abuse, 40% reported experiencing physical abuse, and 29% reported experiencing severe physical abuse. Psychological distress and depression were significantly greater in men who reported being the recipient of either physical or emotional abuse than in men reporting no abuse. In addition, being physically abused predicted 37% of the variance in depression, whereas being emotionally abused predicted 14%-33% of the variance in depression (depending on the emotional abuse scale used). Finally, being emotionally abused predicted 15%-16% of the variance in psychological distress. Thus, abused men appear to be at substantial risk for experiencing depression and psychological distress.

Effects of emotional abuse on women

Many women in physically abusive relationships feel that the emotional abuse is more severely debilitating than the physical abuse in the relationship.

Repeated verbal abuse such as blaming, ridiculing, insulting, swearing, yelling and humiliation has long-term negative effects on a woman's self-esteem and contributes to feelings of uselessness, worthlessness and self-blame.

Threatening to kill or physically harm a female partner, her children, other family members or pets establishes dominance and coercive power on the part of the abuser. The female partner feels extreme terror, vulnerability and powerlessness within the relationship. This type of emotional abuse can make an abused woman feel helpless and isolated.

Jealousy, possessiveness and interrogation about whereabouts and activities are controlling behaviours which can severely restrict a female partner's independence and freedom. Social and financial isolation may leave her dependent upon the abuser for social contact money and the necessities of life.

Emotional abuse can have serious physical and psychological consequences for women, including severe depression, anxiety, persistent headaches, back and limb problems, and stomach problems.

Women who are psychologically abused but not physically abused are five times more likely to misuse alcohol than women who have not experienced abuse.

Effects of emotional abuse on seniors

Senior abuse is still a new issue and there is still little research in this field on emotional abuse.

We do know that senior emotional abuse and neglect can be personal or systemic and that it occurs in a variety of relationships and settings, including abuse by:

• a partner,

• adult children or other relatives,

• unrelated, formal or informal caregivers, or

• someone in a position of trust.

Seniors who are emotionally abused may experience feelings of extreme inadequacy, guilt, low self-esteem, symptoms of depression, fear of failure, powerlessness or hopelessness. These signs may be easily confused with loss of mental capability so that a senior may be labelled as "senile" or "incapable" when in fact she or he may be being emotionally abused.

Abusers may often outwardly display anger and resentment toward the senior in the company of others. They may also display a complete lack of respect or concern for the senior by repeatedly interrupting or publicly humiliating her or him. Not taking into account a senior's wishes concerning decisions about her or his own life is an outward sign of abuse.

Detecting emotional abuse

Emotional abuse may be difficult to detect, but personal awareness and understanding of the issue is key to recognizing it.

Signs for emotional abuse in adults: depression, withdrawal, low self-esteem, severe anxiety, fearfulness, feelings of shame and guilt, frequent crying, self-blame/self-depreciation, overly passive/compliant, social isolation, delay or refusal of medical treatment, discomfort or nervousness around caregiver or relative, suicide attempts or discussion, substance abuse, avoidance of eye contact, other forms of abuse (physical or sexual) present or suspected.

Signs for emotional abuse in children: depression, withdrawal, low self-esteem, severe anxiety, fearfulness, failure to thrive in infancy, aggression, emotional instability, sleep disturbances, physical complaints with no medical basis, inappropriate behaviour for age or development, overly passive/compliant, suicide attempts or discussion, extreme dependence, underachievement, inability to trust, stealing, other forms of abuse (physical or sexual) present or suspected

See also

• Harassment
• Psychological trauma
• Post traumatic stress disorder
• Gang Stalking
• Covert incest