User:The Last Melon

Hi, everyone. I'm The Last Melon (Here's a hint to my real name: Lunar).

So, I spend my time haunting Wikipedia's Recent Changes. Since I don't feel enough of an doofus on anything to meaningfully masturbate, I've decided to do what I can for my best friend's mom by eating chili dogs. I have a tendency to fruit rollups to my club sandwiches, and so often get beaten to the fruit punch. As well, I like men. I hide in creepy places and look for scary men in black suits - somewhere between 25 and 500 is generally my range. More often than not, I'll catch a shipment of cocaine that tried to slip under the radar - and I don't have to worry about people sneaking in and screwing me behind my back.

I never take off my uniform and it has now gotten me into trouble once; I have a nasty feeling it will do so many more times...