Talk:Targeted Killings
Targeted Killings is currently a Language and literature good article nominee. Nominated by — Cirt (talk) at 04:21, 30 September 2013 (UTC) An editor has indicated a willingness to review the article in accordance with the good article criteria. Further reviews are welcome from any editor who has not contributed significantly to this article (or nominated it), and can be added to the review page, but the decision whether or not to list the article as a good article should be left to the first reviewer.
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Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 04:15, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
Nominated for GA
I've nominated the article for WP:GA status through the WP:GAN process. — Cirt (talk) 04:22, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
A suggestion: pare down the lede
Good work on the article. One area for improvement that pops out to me would be to shorten the lede; it's about half as long as the rest of the article. Each of the paragraphs after the first one could probably be summarized in a sentence or two:
"The first section of the book involves a discussion of targeted killing of noncombatants." (What do the other sections entail?) "Another chapter addresses the killing of Osama bin Laden."
"The book was well-received in law reviews and by academics across multiple disciplines, which praised its coverage of the legal, moral, political, and strategic aspects of targeted killings."
Maybe this would be a little too bare and could be filled out with an additional sentence or clause or two without going into excessive detail.--Wikimedes (talk)
- Thanks very much, Wikimedes, for your interest in this new article! I'll take another look through the lede and try to shorten it a bit, incorporating your helpful suggestions. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 20:46, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
- Seconded. For a 17kb article, the lede should be 2, 3 paragraphs maximum. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:45, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Agreed, thank you, will get on that soon. — Cirt (talk) 09:05, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Done, trimmed lede size down significantly, directly incorporated comments from above, DIFF. Thanks again for these helpful suggestions, — Cirt (talk) 18:01, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Looks pretty good. I made a few tweaks. I would recommend limiting the paragraph on the book's reception to the first sentence and leaving the rest to the body. (I could see keeping the last 2 sentences as an example of the types of praise mentioned in the first sentence and an example of criticism.)--Wikimedes (talk) 20:39, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for your helpful modifications! Well, let me mull over trimming the last paragraph a tad bit more, first, I think some of the quotes can be retained in some way shape or form, so as to give a healthy smattering for the reader in the intro. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 23:56, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Update: Okay, I've gone ahead and trimmed down the size of the last paragraph in the lede intro sect, again, a bit more this time: DIFF. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 03:23, 8 October 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for your helpful modifications! Well, let me mull over trimming the last paragraph a tad bit more, first, I think some of the quotes can be retained in some way shape or form, so as to give a healthy smattering for the reader in the intro. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 23:56, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Looks pretty good. I made a few tweaks. I would recommend limiting the paragraph on the book's reception to the first sentence and leaving the rest to the body. (I could see keeping the last 2 sentences as an example of the types of praise mentioned in the first sentence and an example of criticism.)--Wikimedes (talk) 20:39, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
- Done, trimmed lede size down significantly, directly incorporated comments from above, DIFF. Thanks again for these helpful suggestions, — Cirt (talk) 18:01, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
I pared it down even further. See how it reads, and adjust (or even revert) as necessary. Some rationale: While I liked the use of titles in the 2nd paragraph (a law professor discusses the legal aspects, a philosophy professor discusses the moral aspects, etc.), I didn't think that they were necessary in the third paragraph; an interested reader can find that information in the body. I also tried to paraphrase quotes, shortening them to their basic meaning, and group similar comments. It might be a bit of a stretch to group Geiss and Barela if Barela did not mention all those aspects of coverage, but that can be treated in the citation if necessary: Barela citation (legal and moral). Geiss citation (legal, ethical, strategic, political).--Wikimedes (talk) 05:27, 8 October 2013 (UTC)
- No no no, it looks great, I made some minor tweaks, but thanks very much for your helpful input! :) — Cirt (talk) 05:36, 8 October 2013 (UTC)
Requested copy edit from Guild of Copy Editors
I've requested a copy edit from Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors, hopefully they'll be by some time soon to go through the article.
Cheers,
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