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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Lee Vilenski (talk | contribs) at 19:38, 12 March 2020 (Add note). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Qualifying for the 1984 Embassy World Snooker Championship

FYI

J Parrott beat Dennis Hughes 10-3; J Parrott beat C Everton 10-2; J Parrott beat P Mans 10-0

B Mikkelsen beat P Medati 10-8; B Mikkelsen beat F Jonik 10-9; W Thorne beat B Mikkelsen 10-3

M Morra beat G Foulds 10-2; Tommy Murphy beat J Fitzmaurice 10-8; M Morra beat Tommy Murphy 10-5; M Morra beat D Reynolds 10-7

W Saunderson beat P Morgan 10-8; P Mifsud beat E Hughes 10-5; P Mifsud beat W Saunderson 10-5; P Mifsud beat C Wilson 10-8

J Van Rensburg beat V Harris 10-7; R Edmonds beat D Greaves 10-0; J Van Rensburg beat R Edmonds 10-9; S Francisco beat J Van Rensburg 10-3

I Williamson beat P Houlihan 10-5; M Hines beat I Black 10-5; I Williamson beat M Hines 10-6; G Miles beat I Williamson 10-6

M Gibson beat G Rigitano 10-7; M Fisher beat P Thornley 10-8; M Gibson beat M Fisher 10-7; J Johnson beat M Gibson 10-3

E McLaughlin beat J Hargreaves 10-5; R Andrewartha wo John Bear; R Andrewartha beat E McLaughlin 10-8; R Andrewartha beat M Wildman 10-9

J Wych beat G Ganim Jr 10-1; G Scott beat L Heywood 10-7; J Wych beat G Scott 10-6; J Wych beat P Fagan 10-3

P Browne beat S Duggan 10-9; C Roscoe beat B Demarco 10-7; P Browne beat C Roscoe 10-4; E Sinclair beat P Browne 10-1

M Gauvreau beat J Campbell 10-7; G Cripsey beat M Parkin 10-4; M Gauvreau beat G Cripsey 10-1; M Gauvreau beat M Macleod 10-6

I Anderson beat G Watson 10-4; J Donnelly beat P Watchorn 10-7; J Donnelly beat I Anderson 10-6; F Davis beat J Donnelly 10-5

W King beat T Jones 10-9; M Watterson beat B Bennett 10-5; W King beat M Watterson 10-8; W King beat D Martin 10-8

J Caggianello beat M Darrington 10-7; B Oliver beat J Dunning 10-3; B Oliver beat J Caggianello 10-7; R Williams beat B Oliver 10-8

N Foulds beat D French 10-5; L Dodd beat J Giannaros 10-1; N Foulds beat L Dodd 10-4; N Foulds beat J Meadowcroft 10-2

B Harris beat D Sheehan 10-3; P Burke beat B Kelly 10-7; P Burke beat B Harris 10-4; M Hallett beat P Burke 10-5

188.29.8.15 (talk) 00:51, 2 May 2013 (UTC) Ralph[reply]

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Review comments

I've gone through the article and these comments are mostly FAO User:BennyOnTheLoose...

Lead
  • "Davis became the first player to retain the title at the Crucible." It might be a good idea to put a note here about him succumbing to the Curse in 1982. My first thought was "oh, he retained the title, so did he not succumb to the curse?" but of course he'd already won his first title in 1981.
Tournament summary
  • Put debutant list in alphabetical order (surnames A/F/G/J/K/M/M/P/S)
  • "only time and only Foulds and Parrott won their first round matches." > "only time. Foulds and Parrott were the only two debutants to win..."
  • The first bullet is suffering from citation overkill because all the tags are sitting at the end and it looks cluttered. Might be worth separating these out and putting them directly after each individual player in the list?
  • "played in his first world championship final" > "played in his first World Championship final" (caps)
  • "his losing meant that he missed his chance" > "by losing the match he missed his chance"
  • "The first week of the event had at least a million viewers" > "In the first week, the event attracted at least a million viewers"
Qualifying
  • When was the qualifying competition held?
  • "The players were divided into sixteen groups" > "The players were divided into 16 groups" MOS:NUMBER (cf. 16 in next line!)
  • "All matches were the best-of-19 frames." > "All qualifying matches were the best-of-19 frames."
  • "Neal Foulds, aged 20[23] also had to win three matches" > "Neal Foulds, aged 20,[23] also won three matches"
First round
  • Add dates into first sentence? (also applies to subsequent sections)
  • "Knowles, who had recently featured..." Move the Sun info into separate sentence so the match result is up front and the trivia comes after? E.g. "Tony Knowles lost 7–10 to John Parrott.[26] Knowles had recently featured..."
  • "for bringing the game into disrepute" > "for bringing the sport into disrepute" ?
  • "in the Jimmy White and Rex Williams game" > "in the Jimmy White and Rex Williams match"
Second round
  • (add dates into first sentence?)
  • "Steve Davis had breaks" > "Steve Davis compiled breaks"
  • "trying to pot the blue" > "trying to pot the blue ball" (add cuegloss link!)
  • "Reardon got the snooker" > "Reardon laid the snooker" ?
  • "failed to pot it and left it over" > "failed the pot and left the black ball over" (rmv double "it")
  • "in the fifties in winning 13–1" > "in the fifties to win the match 13–1"
Quarter-finals
  • (add dates into first sentence?)
  • "as best-of-25 matches" > "as best-of-25-frames matches"
  • Unlink Terry Griffiths & Jimmy White
Semi-finals
  • (add dates into first sentence?)
  • "as best-of-31 matches" > "as best-of-31-frames matches"
  • "increased his advantage to 13–8" > "and increased his advantage to 13–8"
Final
  • (add dates into first sentence?)
  • "as best-of-35" > "as a best-of-35-frames match."
  • "Davis dominated ... against White" > "Steve Davis dominated ... against Jimmy White" (use full names when first mentioned in section)
  • "and at the end of the second session led 12–4" > "and led 12–4 at the end of the second session"
  • "to reduce his deficit to 17–16" > "to reduce his deficit to 16–17" (invert losing scoreline)
  • "the first player to retain the title at the Crucible"... add in the curse note here too!
Century breaks
  • "which were the fewest since" > just "the fewest since"

---By the way, I really like the way you've woven the matches together, gives it a more narrative style, rather than just "this is what happened in match 1", then "this is what happened in match 2", etc. Rodney Baggins (talk) 10:22, 11 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Rodney Baggins: Thank you! Hopefully I've addressed your comments without introducing too many new issues. I really appreciate your guidance. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:22, 13 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Great, it's looking pretty good now isn't it! I've been through again and made some more changes, hope you don't mind. Please feel free to challenge me on anything you don't agree with, some of it is probably personal preference. One thing I'm unsure about is how we tackle the Crucible curse info. I had in mind a simple footnote, rather than placing the info directly into the body text. Maybe we could just put a footnote to cover the issue in the lead (as I think it's maybe not appropriate to add unnecessary clutter there), but leave the additional explanatory text that you've put at the end of the Final section to back it up? Rodney Baggins (talk) 19:02, 14 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Personally I wouldn't mention the Crucible curse in the lead. To me it is bordering on trivia. Nigej (talk) 19:29, 14 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Removed Crucible curse from the lead. Thanks again @Rodney Baggins:, I won't be as good at phrasing as you are, but I can hopefully use some of my learnings here in other articles. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:28, 14 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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