Dear Dumb Diary

Dear Dumb Diary by Jim Benton is a series about a middle school girl named Jamie Kelly and her adventures. She has a burning hatred for a girl named Angeline, a popular, smart and drop-dead beautiful "blondwad". Isabella is Jamie's best friend (who happens to be obsessed with popularity and she not popular).

She and Angeline both have a crush on Hudson Rivers which causes some trouble. The books about her are as follows:

1. Dear Dumb Diary, Let's Pretend this Never Happened (2004) ISBN 0-439-62904-7
2. Dear Dumb Diary, My Pants are Haunted!
3. Dear Dumb Diary, Am I The Princess Or The Frog?
4. Dear Dumb Diary, Never do Anything, Ever
5. Dear Dumb Diary, Can Adults become Human?
6. Dear Dumb Diary, The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From
7. Dear Dumb Diary, Never Underestimate Your Dumbness (Coming Soon)

Main Characters

Jamie Kelly

Jamie is a middle school girl who has a huge crush on Hudson Rivers, the 8th cutest guy in her grade.Her hair color is groundhog. Her best friend is Isabella Vinchella, a tough, violent girl. At the start of all her diaries, Jamie writes something along the lines of " Are you sure you're supposed to be reading my dumb diary? Maybe I told you could, so that is alright. But if I didn't you'd better stop now." It goes on about many other things, and before that, there are pictures explaining why you should not read her diary. Her favourite color is Kelly green. Jamie believes in the future she will be a "Hot Mom", and she'll have 9 girls, 8 boys. Her husband will be a rich and famous, but he has to be Isabella's husband's twin brother. They both plan to have 17 kids. Jamie also loves to draw and doodle, one of her career choices is artist, that is if she does not decide to be a scientist that makes a lot of money dancing on TV. Jamie is an only child. She has a bratty cousin, Eddie, who looks like a troll, is the dirtiest and always seems to get sticky again after just being washed. Jamie got in trouble for writing "wash me" on his cheek. Jamie likes to talk about how annoying Angeline is and thinks Angeline is effortlessly beautiful,The Problem with Here is that Its Where Iam From. What she doesn't know yet is that Angeline really wants to be a brunette. Angeline and Jamie are the same exact pants size and Angeline wants to become related to Jamie in Can Adults Become Human. In The Problem with Here is that Its Where I am From Jamie desperately tries to get an accent while Isabella thinks that having an accent is some type of strange deformity. Mr. Evans assigns a project for the students to work on in TPWHITIWIAF and Angeline chooses to work on graffiti while Jamie is teamed up with her.A new girl named Colette from some other school comes up even prettier than Angeline and phrased by Jamie "Without the unfair advantage of Blond hair". Colette is black haired.Isabella is suspicious that Colette just came to steal something from them.

Isabella Vinchella

Isabella is Jamie's violent best friend. She has many mean older brothers, which is the main reason she's so violent. Isabella has a chocolate dependency problem. She is very selfish, and hates her glasses. Isabella is excellent at lying, but can also do incredibly stupid things, for example: the time she colored her glasses with a marker, to make everyone think she had blue eyes. Isabella's signature lip balm is chocomint, wich changes to meat loaf when stolen by blondwad. Isabella has always been violent, even all the way back in grade 2. She beat up a kid because he giggled at her name (His name was Lewis Clarke.) It took 3 teachers and half the class to pull her off the boy. Isabella will probably be "A Scientist of Popularity." Isabella is also conceited, and is sometimes the cause of she and Jamie's fights. Isabella is also a RE-TELLER (in Can Adults Become Human), she kept telling on Jamie for gluing a picture to her head.

Angeline Wilcox

The most popular girl in school that everyone loves, she has the most beautiful blond hair you've ever seen and has all the boys talking about her and many of the girls envy her (except jamie). Angeline is a small 4'11 while everyone else is about 5'5 she is a tiny athlete with big blue eyes and long dark black eye lashes to make her eyes even more intense and she doesn't wear any makeup. She loves sports. She uses 7 different kinds of shampoo and 4 different kind of conditioner. Her super big secret is that she always wanted to be a brunette.

Also invented zone shampooing, beret fads, and started holes in jeans. Also has a crush on Hudson Rivers, and is on and off "friends" with Jamie. However, in the sixth book Angeline, Isabella and Jamie all become best friends after the voting that takes place at their school. They make necklaces to prove their friendship but Jamie later gives her necklace to Stinker. Angeline is dainty is fast on her feet many girls envy her because she is slender and beautiful and blond.

Stinker

Jamie's vengeful beagle dog, Stinker, is very dreadful. He is brown and is old and out of shape. Angeline once gave him a makeover and Stinker looked beautiful. Stinker loves to eat Jamie's Mom's appetizers. Jamie tried to make Stinker run away, but all attempts failed hopelessly, she got him back in the end. Stinker was also framed for stealing Angeline's permanent record (which Jamie stole) and for revenge he eats her mythology homework. (In first book)

Hudson Rivers

Hudson Rivers is the 8th Cutest Guy at Mackerel Middle School (Chip, a guy cute enough to be in a shaving cream commercial first, but 2nd-7th is unknown.) He has an 0n-and-off crush on Jamie, but that was because he saw her do funny things, like when she tried to show off her Zone Shampooing, it looked like she was having a seizure. He sometimes likes Angeline too, especially when she does charitable things. His hair color is dark brown, and his eye colour is "some color that melts hearts." Jamie doesn't have a lot of information on Hudson, but she wants to find out more. Hudson's name is a joke on the Hudson River.

Jamie's Mom

Jamie's mom is known because of her terrible cooking, although she is very good at making appetizers. She constantly makes horrible meals that Jamie and Mr. Kelly cringe at, although they barely ever say anything, so they do not hurt her feelings and so she won't talk about Wheretheheckistan. Jamie's Mom likes to hold yard sales for 3 cents and talks about how the children in WheretheHeckisstan would just love to eat her cooking while as Jamie phrased it"The children in WheretheHeckistan already have enough problems without dumping Mom's casserole on them too."

Minor Characters

Mr. Evans

Mr.Evans is the Mythology teacher for Makerel Middle School. Although not one of the main characters, he is some-what important in Dear Dumb Diary, Lets pretend this never happened. He is somewhat irritable; you can tell because his forehead will start to throb.

Mean Office Ladies

Mean office ladies who enjoy being mean to kids, mostly Jamie, Probably because of their butterscotch candy.

Bruntford

A fat, ugly woman who is the school's lunch monitor. She is "A water buffalo someone trained to make sure everything flows as smoothly as gravy through a grandma."She has eyes in the back of her head. She has a house but Jamie thought she had always lived under a bridge asking travelers riddles before she let them pass. She is Jamies' aunt's new best friend. Her mom likes to cook for her.

Mr. Vandoy

A social studies teacher that almost never smile. Jamie and Isabella hate him. He smiled, well laughed actually, in Can Adults Become Human, when Stinker released the fart he had been holding in for weeks.

Assistant Principal Devon

Angeline's uncle and the AP of Mackerel Middle School. He's engaged to Jamie's Aunt Carol and can sometimes do things that seem surprisingly normal, or even human. Such as the time when he made Jamie pick up a paper and throw it in the trash in a way that was lying but telling the truth at the same time. He told Jamie to tell the re-teller, Isabella, that he made her clean the office.

Aunt Carol

Aunt Carol is Jamie's aunt. Jamie considers aunt Carol to be somewhat cool, since she is still somewhat young and was not married until she got engaged to Assistant Principal Devon (in Can Adults Become Human). Aunt Carol is friends with Bruntford.

Ms. Anderson

Ms.Anderson is the pretty art teacher of Mackerel Middle School.Her first apperence was in Dear Dumb Diary,Lets pretend this never happened.She is described by Jamie Kelly,"Pretty enough to be a waitress.".

Mrs. Palmer

Mrs. Palmer is a substitue teacher who has a habit of switching partners in her classes, due to the fact that she does not care what you are doing that you are not supposed to be doing, as long as you are doing something wrong. She replaced Mr. Tweeds, who fell and broke his hip.

Sally Winthorpe

Sally is considered extremely smart, but small. She had once stolen Isabella's perfume collection to get Hudson Rivers to like her, although Isabella found out about it.

Margaret Parker

Margaret is considered a total reject because she chews on pencils too much. Jamie and Isabella gave her a makeover, although she eventually changed back from her makeover, while keeping the popularity status she got from the makeover. Margaret secretly has a crush on TUKWNIF. She thinks that she is fine just the way she is and always sneaks a few extra munches every now and then from peoples pencils.

Mike Pinsetti

Mike Pinsetti is known for nicknaming people. He had a crush on Jamie and sent her love notes, although Jamie did not share the same feelings.

Mr. Prince

A substitute teacher who Jamie had a crush on, and thought he liked her, although he didn't.( only appears in in Am I the princess or the frog.)