Talk:Flirting

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The definition of 'flirting' here seems a bit sparse, but I am no expert. I have nothing constructive to add to this definition, but would like to see some discussion of what many consider to be a very important topic. First, is flirting normal social interaction? What restrictions does society place on flirting? Can a man flirt with a woman at work without being charged with sexual harassment? For those of us who are married, is it acceptable to flirt with those to whom we aren't married? Please, these questions are the only ones which I know to ask. I present them as a suggestion only and welcome any discussion on the matter.

Suggested subheading

I suggest someone add a section on flirting's morality. It's a topic I'm very curious about.--HistoricalPisces 17:43, 3 August 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Morality should be removed from the other sections too, different cultures have different rules. And while it should be discussed, it shouldn't be part of the main definition. -anon 16:02, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

Etymology

In modern french the verb "flirter" is similar to "to flirt" and un(e) flirt means something like boyfriend (girlfriend), but I am hesitant to add this content to the page because (in a language where one word can mean kiss or shag depending on context) it is very easy to completely change the meaning of something as difficult to describe as flirting. Can a native speaker give us a hint as to the current usage?

Also, did the current french word migrate back from the english word, or what?

Yes, French flirt(er) almost certainly comes from English. Whether English flirt comes from fleurette is in doubt; and, by the way, neither of my French dictionaries suggests that conter fleurette is obsolete, on the contrary one calls it a "locution moderne". —Tamfang 21:43, 26 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

German, anyone?

There's a really interesting paragraph in the German-language entry on flirting. It's about a Margaret Mead study on differences among American airmen and English girls in WWII. I sure would like to see her original, and explain it here, but i cannot find it. The closest ive gotten so far is excerpts from a speech called "The Yank in Britain" where the British misunderstood the American idea of recreational dating.

I just put up some material on the subject. Squidfryerchef 04:12, 3 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Flirting

I would like to suggest that the definition of flirting needs to be amended to reflect it's childish origin which is simply: child's play. Romantic attachment and sexual attraction should never be confused with flirting. Flirting is adults at play; joined by sexual innuendo mixed with meaninglessness. Notice that adults does not specify women or men; it specifies adults which are both women and men. An adult is the only distiction necessary. Flirting done properly, is perfectly harmless and should be practiced by all. Is such a definition embraced by others? More than likely. Would such a definition gain universal appeal? Certainly not many of my generation. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lula Belle (talk • contribs) 22:18, 5 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Well, if you can source that viewpoint, go ahead and put it in. -Maverick 06:56, 15 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

"Flirt fighting"?

What exactly is the article describing when it refers to "flirt fighting"? Little boys' dipping girls' pigtails in the ink wells, or what? :\ Runa27 07:12, 31 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

flirting by fighting perhaps! lol actually... not such a crazy idea, play fighting is a form of flirting. Mathmo 15:23, 18 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, that's definitely true; you have a lot of different ways to "flirt fight"- 'poke war', playful smacking, teasing (technically), etc. Stars in the Night Sky 18:59, 11 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Flirt vs. Flirting

Should Flirt really redirect here? There IS a difference between flirt and flirting, as in Flirt the noun. 58.162.103.251 13:57, 28 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Until someone writes Flirt (noun), and clarifies the distinction, I reckon the redirect is appropriate. What do you reckon the noun means, other than one who flirts? —Tamfang 19:12, 8 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Format/Grammar/Citation

Lastly, the third degree of flirting is intentional, and not at all subtle. The person is going out of his or her way to look "cool", actively trying to impress someone. This almost never works but is repeatedly used by many young teenagers anyway, because it is "cool".

There are a few fundamental problems with this paragraph. First of all, "Lastly, the third..." doesn't sound gramatically correct to me. The word 'lastly' is superflous.

Futhermore, I think "cool" needs to be more clearly defined. The word sounds a bit slack. Any suggstions?

Also, what are the sources for this article? Is it fair to say that it "almost never works" ?

what flirting is to me

To me, flirting is touching another person ever so lightly, letting them know how attractive you find them, but leaving no expectations. Flirting does not have to lead to a relationship, but it leaves the door open. Done properly, both sides will feel better for the experience. They will feel attractive and somehow more alive. When I catch someone's eye across a crowded room and smile a little then look away, it only means that I appreciate the person. It is like paying a wordless compliment. When I treat an 11 year old or an 81 year old as though they were a lady my age, it is a gesture of respect. Carlos Castenada speaks of seeing people as luminous beings. That description always struck me. Flirting for me is showing the person that you appreciate that luminous being beneath the skin. That is why a 70 year old man dressed in a suit, with a Panama hat and walking stick, sitting on the piazza in Rome with a glass of Pernod, can flirt with a 30 year old married business woman clutching a cell phone and a briefcase, and neither need feel embarrassed or out of place. Licentious 15:00, 22 March 2007 (UTC)Licentious[reply]

Simple or Complex

I believe that flirting is simply any complimenting or edifying comment or action directed at another in order to gain favor or rapor. I don't think that everyone's motive for flirting is the same. One who is married might "flirt" with another in order to gain more opportunities in the work place, or to get a discount when making a purchase, etc... 132.178.204.98 07:10, 13 September 2007 (UTC)TregSr[reply]

Picture

I've added the picture Image:StrawAndBreasts.jpg to the top of the article. An editor removed this a while ago because it was "silly": I would suggest that it was illustrating the subject of the article. Pictures enhance the quality of an articl, if only by making the text seem more accessible. There is a link at the bottom of the page top a category of pictures on the Commons on the subject. Perhaps, if editors don't like this picture they could find a replacement rather than just deleting. An explanation on the discussion page would help in coming to a concensus. --Simon Speed 12:07, 14 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

As an illustration of the article I agree with the editor who removed it. It's a poor illustration for the article with connotations of licentiousness and crudeness that are not an implicit part of the subject and which are barely touched upon in the article (and shouldn't be). It would make a better illustration for ab article on drunken behaviour than one on flirting. -- SiobhanHansa 15:09, 14 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Then replace it with something better. --Simon Speed 15:34, 14 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

While a good illustration would be great I haven't seen one. However I do not think this illustration is better than no illustration. It gives an incorrect impression of the content of the article. -- SiobhanHansa 15:56, 14 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Hear, hear. —Tamfang 07:51, 15 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Because it isn't a picture of "flirting" as most people understand it. Flirting is supposed to be about unattached people batting eyelashes at each other, not a raunchily humorous photo of a couple. Squidfryerchef 22:29, 15 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

OK, so how about this picture Image:Das werdenSie ja nachher schon sehen.jpg? They don't seem to be a couple yet... will they go further or will she laugh and brush him off? --Simon Speed 11:17, 16 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I guess I'm neutral on this one. It doesn't have the same inappropriate connotations the other one had. But personally I wouldn't have associated it with flirting without reading the caption, and I think the dated look and mores it portrays will make it harder for people to gain much from it. This is a hard article to illustrate; so much of flirting is dependent on context and culture that is difficult to find something that clearly shows a flirtatious act. -- SiobhanHansa 18:13, 16 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]