Polysexuality
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Polysexuality refers to people who are attracted to more than one gender but do not wish to identfy as bisexual because it implies that there are only two bianary genders. Polysexuals are those people sexually attracted to many different sorts of different ideas and characteristics. The term is also used as an appellation for relationships that are non-monogamous, but not particularly intimate, polysexuals being those who engage in such relationships. The term often has a negative connotation in contrast to polyamory.
Polysexuality is a self-identifying term that is somewhat amorphous, as there is a wide variety of different people who use the term to describe themselves.
As sex with multiple partners
Frequently, but not necessarily, the term is used by people in committed relationships who also engage in sexual activities outside of their primary relationship.
Although polysexuals may participate in sexual activities with multiple partners, the term does not also necessarily imply bisexuality or homosexuality. Some polysexuals are bisexual or homosexual, and many are not. Whether they participate in group sex activities is another factor that is not mandatory to the term. For example, swinging lifestyle participants would be a category of polysexual people or activities.
It seems apparent that the core belief of people who are polysexual is that it is not "wrong" to share their lives with other people within and without primary relationships, and that society does not have any claim on categorizing their behavior in a negative fashion.
Also implied within the term is that polysexual activity is not considered cheating. A person who has sex outside their primary relationship, i.e., affairs, one-night stands, etc., without the knowledge of their partner may be driven by polysexual urges, but this is not generally what is referred to as polysexual behavior.
The term is not synonymous with the appellation polyamorous. Polyamorous implies there is an emotional side to the intimate relationships that people share. That emotional connection may or may not be a part of a person’s expression of polysexuality. However, many polysexual people are also polyamorous. Their primary relationships may be triads (or more) instead of the conventional couple relationship paradigm which society attempts to enforce on all.
Because of societal constraints, polysexual people in general attempt to keep their lifestyle and activities discreet or secret. In many countries, it would not be unusual for many people to lose their jobs if this aspect of their life came to light. There are several instances of people losing their children though custody battles, etc., when in all other aspects they were exemplary parent. Due to the reality of societies’ ostracization, there is no clear picture on how common this belief and behavior is.
In the past fifteen years, many different websites on the Internet have come into being to allow and assist polysexual people to contact each other in a safe, discreet manner.
Whether the presence of Internet contact websites has merely provided additional visibility to the polysexual community, or whether it has substantially increased the frequency of this behavior is open to debate. It is my opinion that, the increase of opportunity related to the Internet must have increased the number of people who have experimented with polysexuality. It allows people and couples with interest in this aspect of life to connect with others, particularly in those smaller communities where it would have been extremely difficult to acknowledge their interest. As such, it is also highly likely that there has been an increase of the number of people who have a polysexual lifestyle.
In several respects, polysexual relationships are similar to monogamous heterosexual or homosexual relationships. They are each unique, based on the individuals involved. These relationships may be permanent, or may fail over time just like the reality of all couples. Many polysexual people believe they have an advantage in that successful relationships will not suffer from their partners cheating on them.
As attraction to multiple genders
Definition: Manifesting a sexual orientation once (and occasionally still) identified as "pansexual," Pansexuality which does not limit affection, romance or sexual attraction to any one gender or sex, and recognizes that there are more than just males and females on the expansive continuum of human sexualities. Pride Canada
According to Susan Pell ThirdSpace Website (November, 2002), in an article she published titled, "Inescapable Essentialism: Bisexually-Identified Women's Strategies in the Late 80s and Early 90s,"
Other terms for sexual multiplicity also have greater disruptive potential than bisexuality, such as polysexuality and pansexuality Pansexuality. Though these may be jargon-ridden,[15] they move beyond the prefixes of a mono- or bi- sexuality. They imply a diffusion of eroticizism with no reduction to categorical binaries or stable identities. So, for those who seek a sexual liberation for minorities, perhaps the banner should read "pan" or "poly" and skip the binaries and essentialism of "bi." In finding a new word or model to conceptualize sexuality, I think we need to consider how new technology will change our understanding of desire and erotic practices, as Kaloski questions:"What can bisexuality mean when latex and phonesex and cybersex are displacing sexual difference and producing new erogenous zones?" (210). Is this pointing to polysexuality? Pansexuality? Who is to say? The future possibilities of an open sexuality are conceivable, but it is time we claim sexuality as a sense of knowing ourselves, our desires and not as an identity politic. As Som directs, "We can't live bisexual; we have to live our lives. I say get on with it" (97). Board criticizes the use of pansexual and polysexual as both too "jargony" and incomprehensible for many people (285), however, I think that it is better to introduce new words than try to recycle old ones, which for many people will be just as exclusive.
References
- Poly Dictionary
- Board, Mykel. "Pimple No More." In Tucker. 281-287.
- Kaloski, Ann. "Extract from 'Bisexuals Making Out with Cyborgs: Politics, Pleasure, Con/fusion' (1997)." In Storr. 201-210.
- Som, Indigo Chih-Lien. "Open Letter to a Former Bisexual (or, Do I Hear "Post-Bisexual"?)." In Tucker. 93-97.
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