Wikipedia:Peer review/Loung Ung/archive1

Loung Ung

This article may or may not be acceptable in its present form. A peer review would be appreciated --RogerK 05:51, 26 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.

There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.
Footnote #2 is missing

Please provide WP:CITE information for references/footnotes. See also WP:CITE/ES; templates like {{Cite web}} and {{Cite book}} may be useful here.
Can a level two heading ==Biography== or something like that be used to make the ToC hierarchal?
After a year, for consistency, a comma should either be used throughout the entire article or not used at all.

Per WP:MOS#Headings, headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.

Please alphabetize the categories and interlanguage links.
Thanks, AndyZ _t 21:21, 26 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your help, Andy and Mel. I'll address your changes first, Mel. Loung is an activist for human rights in many countries. Although she is Cambodian, her present home is not Cambodia (except in her heart, lol). The map should be large enough to be read clearly for reference purposes, because the subject of this article and her books are discussed in classrooms in several countries by students of various ages. I slightly increased the size of the other two images also, just because they seemed a bit too small to me. Thanks for the re-formatting.

Andy, I fixed the missing footnote link. As to the lead, perhaps her writings can be placed under another heading. The info box thing is not what I want; I never intended this to be a biography. Just an article about the person and who she is. I'll check CITE to try to improve the article, but your note about "ToC hierarchal" is something I know nothing about.

Alphabetization of categories has been accomplished by someone. As for interlanguage links, I didn't know that it existed, lol. So I'll check it out. --RogerK 02:33, 27 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, addressed infobox, long lead, level two heading and ToC hierarchal. Will get to the rest soon. --RogerK 00:44, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

In no particular order:

The notice at the top is something I've not seen anywhere else in the WP. I haven't taken the time to look, but does the MOS: WP:DATE address this? The current notice seems obtrusive.
Blockquotes, whether indented using html or the wikicode ':', don't get any quotation marks.
Is she the national spokesperson in affiliation with the VVAF, or is the International Campaign in affiliation with the VVAF? The sentence is confusing and should be rewritten.
Still don't care for "bustling" :) but will understand if you leave it there...
My "pet rock" — use of passive throughout.
In the section headed by: Education in the United States; "one bedroomed" → "one bedroom"

Very quickly done, hope this helps. --Easter Monkey 16:56, 27 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, addressed (1) obtrusive notice, (2) blockquotes or otherwise indented quotes, (3) affiliation ambiguity, and (6) "one bedroomed" (not my phrase; Mel's). I'm content with (5) "bustling", lol, as are many other Wikipedians (just a poke in your ribs, :)). As for (5) passive voice, I'll get to it soon. Thanks for your review my friend. --RogerK 00:44, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]