Christian views on marriage

In the Christian faith, marriage is viewed as a lifelong union of a man and a woman before God. One commonly used text is from the Gospel of Matthew (which is itself a quote from the book of Genesis).

"...For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19: 5-6 (quoting from Genesis 2:24)

Virtually all Christian denominations frown on divorce, although some more harshly than others.

Christian marriage is seen by Saint Paul (especially Ephesians chapter 5) as paralleling the relationship between Christ and the Church, a theological view which is a development of the Old Testament view that saw a parallel between marriage and the relationship between God and Israel.

All major Christian groups take marriage to be a good thing. In 1 Timothy, Chapter 4, St. Paul talks of heretics who, among other things, "forbid marriage" and he describes their views as "doctrines of demons". At the same time, even though marriage is believed to be a good thing, Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy traditionally see an even greater value in celibacy when that celibacy is undertaken for the sake of a more singleminded devotion to God, but do not believe that everyone is called by God to this.

View of Roman Catholic Christians

In Roman Catholicism, marriage is one of the seven sacraments. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition, Paragraph 1623, "the spouses as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church". An argument for the institution of the sacrament of Matrimony by Christ himself, and its occasion, is advanced by Bernard Orchard in his article The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph [1]. In the Eastern Rite (i.e. non-Latin rite churches in full communion with Rome), "the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses, but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary".

Marriage forms the foundation of the family, the fundamental unit of the referring community (ordinarily the parish). The ideal references are found in the Holy Family (Saint Joseph and Mary, the mother of Jesus). See related articles of Canon law: [2] (Latin).

The primary purpose of marriage is to fulfill a vocation in the nature of man and woman, for the procreation and education of children, and to stand as a symbol of the mystical union between Christ and his Church. [3] The secondary aim is the mutual reciprocal help and it is also a "remedy to concupiscence". Fecundity is a good, a gift and an end of marriage. By giving life, spouses participate in God's fatherhood. Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages". It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another.

Husband and wife have to share the same house; with cohabitation the marriage is presumed consummatum, unless a proof of the contrary is produced.

Sexual intercourse is termed the marriage debt. This refers to the idea that marriage is a contract where each party assumes total control of the other's body. At almost any time, within reason, a partner's asking for the fulfilment of that debt must be satisfied. Like any repayment of a debt, when done with the right intention and circumstances sexual intercourse is a meritorious act, gaining graces for the participants.

Divorce

Marriage's principal qualities are unitas atque indissolubilitas (Latin for "unity and indissolubility"); therefore Roman Catholicism absolutely refuses divorce (voluntary termination of the marriage). (Canon 1141.) The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.

There remain only two cases in Roman Catholic matrimonial jurisprudence where a legally valid marriage can be terminated. First is the so-called Pauline privilege, which concerns the case where in a non-Christian couple, one of the partners is baptized, and this causes the other partner to want to break off the marriage or to become abusive. As the marriage was never sacramental (no baptism), the bishop is permitted to terminate the marriage for the benefit of the faith of the baptized member. The privilege is so named because it is based on Paul of Tarsus' First Epistle to the Corinthians (1 Cor 7:12). There is also a Petrine privilege, which belongs to the pope alone. This permits the dissolution of any purely natural marriage, as when a baptised person marries an unbaptized person, so that there can be no sacrament between them.

However, canon law recognizes several impedimenta dirimenta ("impediments that destroy"), which make it impossible for the couple to give binding consent to one another. If one of these impediments exists, the couple is not capable of a valid marriage, so that an annulment -- a statement from an ecclesiastical court that the marriage never existed sacramentally -- can be granted.

Examples of impedimenta dirimenta include:

Marriage before 16 years of age for a male, or 14 for a female
Permanent incapacity to complete the marriage act, existing before the marriage was celebrated. Infertility is not included.
Being bound by a previous marriage
One of the partners is non-Christian (a dispensation can be granted in this case)
The husband is ordained, or either partner has religious vows
The marriage was celebrated under force (unless the forced party, after coming out of the forced situation freely decides to remain in the marriage)
One of the partners killed the wife or husband of the other in order to be able to marry
Too near a level of relation between the partners (even if this is through adoption)

An annulment can also be granted in a few serious cases of breach of the matrimonial consent, i.e.: violence (even psychological), error and (most frequently) non-consummation (ratum et non consummatum) — the absence of sexual intercourse. Annulments are processed by a special tribunal, the Roman Rota (an organ of Roman curia) and the percentage granted is statistically very low, though it is much higher in recent years.

Catholics in the U.S. and much of Europe can obtain annulments relatively easily, once they have paid for the costs of the court proceeding. Many consider this to be a de facto divorce, but the Vatican stresses that annullment always declares a total, absolute denial of a marriage having been entered into, e.g., through a lack of consent. Theologically, if a sacramental union once truly existed, it cannot simply disappear after several years of marriage, because matrimony is by its very nature exclusive and lifelong. An annulment thus requires that there have been something missing from the beginning.

As for civil effects of the religious marriage, in January 2002 a declaration by Pope John Paul II made it clear that Roman Catholic civil lawyers and judges must refuse to take divorce cases [4] and must avoid getting involved at any level in any cooperation with divorce, however indirect.

It has been admitted that civil divorce could be allowed in special cases, e.g., if it represents the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance. This position indeed might not be completely reflecting the effective position of the Holy See, and seems more related to special individual cases, rather than a possible escamotage: even if the Church has always denied any valuable content for the civil marriage, a divorce remains a divorce, a grave offense against the natural law, and the practice is not at all welcomed by the Church, even when regarding civil aspects only. This civil divorce is in no way recognized by the church, and the civilly divorced couple are not permitted to remarry without a decree of nullity on the first marriage.

Divorce is considered immoral "also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society". Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery.

Divorce does not automatically prevent a person from receiving Holy Communion, but remarriage without a declaration of nullity from the Catholic Church does. Divorcees are not excommunicated, but if they are responsible for the failure and breakup of their marriage they must repent and confess their sin before receiving Holy Communion.

It has to be noted that effectively the canon law strictly requires that spouses and celebrating priest deeply verify the opportunity of each marriage before it is celebrated. This is meant as a means to avoid enforcing those causes that might later lead to an unsatisfactory marital life (and a separation). Pre-marriage courses have to be followed by the spouses, in order to verify the potential affinities for a future common life, and a certain time is ordinarily required between the request and the celebration, so to allow a time delay clearly intended for the purpose of suggesting a reflection on the real reciprocal intentions.

Other issues

Another increasing attention is instead severely tributed to marriages with one of spouses belonging to a non-Christian religion (so-called "disparity of cult" - Catechism of the Catholic Church 1633): these are evidently not welcome, since the letter of Canon law expressly defines the marriage as a "contract" between baptised spouses. Still, a marriage between non baptised spouses is called legitimum when validly celebrated, but it is really not encouraged.

Polygamy is described as "not in accord with the moral law". Conjugal communion is radically contradicted by polygamy; this, in fact, directly negates the plan of God which was revealed from the beginning, because it is contrary to the equal personal dignity of men and women who in matrimony give themselves with a love that is total and therefore unique and exclusive." Roman Catholic teaching holds that even the Patriarchs were breaking the natural law with their polygamy, although God created an exception for them.

Information on Roman Catholic annullments - Diocese of San Jose Annulment Tribunal - Catholic divorce - Catholic Familyland - In Vatican website, catechism contents about marriage and divorce

View of Orthodox Christians

In Eastern Orthodoxy, marriage is also treated as a sacrament, and as an ordination, and (like all ordinations) like a martyrdom, as each spouse learns to die to himself or herself for the sake of the other. Like all ordinations, it is viewed as revealing and sealing the relationship that has formed between the couple. In addition, marriage is an icon or image of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. This is somewhat akin to the Old Testament prophets' use of marriage as an analogy to describe the relationship between God and Israel. Divorce is discouraged, but allowed, in some cases to acknowledge that the relationship no longer exists. A lay member may obtain permission to remarry under the counsel of a priest, but the ceremony and prayers would be different, less joyful and more sober and sombre.

A married man may be ordained as a priest or deacon. However, a priest or deacon is not permitted to enter into matrimony after ordination, whether he has become divorced or widowed, or even if he had not been married at the time of ordination. Bishops are always celibate.

Overall, there is a far less legislative approach regarding married life than in Roman Catholicism.

View of Protestant Christians

Protestant denominations tend to have their own individually applicable doctrines, which represent only the churches in communion with one another. However, some beliefs are typical of almost all Protestants. And, there are intra-denominational and cross-denominational movements, within which the beliefs and practices of adherents are more narrowly defined.

Protestants typically acknowledge a difference between the sacraments of (Baptism and Communion), and all other ordinances of God by which the favor of God is shown to men. Almost all Protestant denominations hold marriage to be ordained by God for the union between a man and a woman, based on the passage from Matthew above. Most of them also hold that the primary purpose of this union is to glorify God by demonstrating his love to the world; other purposes of marriage include the raising of children and bringing help to enable both husband and wife to fulfill their life callings. Most Protestants are less likely to hold a negative view of birth control and many see sexual pleasure within marriage as a gift of God.

Evangelical Protestant View

In addition to the limitations on who may marry (discussed above), evangelicals take a strict view of the nature of marriage. For evangelicals, marriage is the only appropriate channel for sexual expression and divorce is permissible, if at all, only in very specific circumstances such as infidelity. Marriage is seen as a solemn covenant between the couple and God. The man is seen as the head of the household and his wife is expected to submit to him. However, there are two views within evangelicalism of how this should work out in practice:

The traditionalist or complementarian view sees the husband as having loving authority over the wife as the servant-leader of the household. The wife's role is to cheerfully submit to this authority where it does not conflict with her conscience or with biblical teaching.

The egalitarian view sees the husband's headship as meaning he is the source who works to ensure his wife's growth and development as a person. The wife's submission is seen in the context of Paul's injunction (in Ephesians 5:21) for all Christians to submit to one another.

Proponents of both views emphasise that headship and submission are worked out in the context that a husband is expected to protect and care for his wife and put her needs before his own. These principles reflect the concept that Christ is the head of the Church, or those who call themselves His followers, and loves her even to the point of dying for her.

Liberal Christian Protestant View

Liberal christians, almost by definition, give a great deal of consideration to cultural norms. In the Western world, the primary place where liberal Protestantism is found, pre-marital sex, same-sex marriage (and to some extent homosexuality in general) and divorce are increasingly becoming the norm and so liberal Protestants have become increasingly accepting of these practices. While liberals view divorce as regrettable, they generally do not believe it to be sinful. Likewise, pre-marital sex may be considered to be unwise, but since it is not unusual it is often considered to be acceptable. Since the rise of feminism liberals also generally reject any claim of male headship and see the husband and wife as an equal team.

View of non-Protestant, non-Catholic Christians

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("LDS Church"; see also Mormon), "Eternal Marriage" is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman and God performed by a priesthood authority in the temples of the Church. Eternal Marriage is legally recognized, but unlike other civil marriages, Eternal Marriage is intended to continue into the afterlife after the resurrection if the man and woman do not break their covenants. Eternally married couples are often referred to as being "sealed" to each other. Sealed couples who keep their covenants are also promised to have their posterity sealed to them in the after life. Thus, the slogan of the LDS Church: "families are forever". The LDS Church encourages its members to be in good standing with it so that they may marry in the temple. "Cancellation of a sealing", sometimes incorrectly called a "temple divorce", is uncommon and is granted only by the highest authority in the Church. Civil divorce and marriage outside the temple is somewhat of a stigma in the Latter-day Saint culture although currently the Church itself directs its local leaders not to advise members about divorce one way or another.

In the New Church (or Swedenborgianism), marriage is considered a sacred covenant between one man, one women and the Lord. The doctrine of the New Church teaches that married love (sometime translated conjugial love) is "the precious jewel of human life and the repository of the Christian religion" because the love shared between a husband and a wife is the source of all peace and joy (see Married Love 457). Marriage is also meant to be eternal and divorce is only allowable when the spiritual union is broken by adultery. When a a husband and wife work together to become angels in heaven, their marriage continues uninterrupted even after the death of their bodies, living together in heaven to eternity. Emanuel Swedenborg spoke to angels who had been married for thousands of years. Those who are never married on earth will find a spouse in heaven.

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