Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild
The Assassins' Guild described here exists on the fictional Discworld. Many other fantasy fiction universes also feature Assassins' Guilds, as does the Marvel Universe, where the Guilds of Thieves and Assassins in New Orleans feature in the origin of the X-Man Gambit. It is also a popular name for live role playing groups of various sorts.
Note: Much of the information repeated below was taken from the 2000 Discworld Diary, which had an Assassins' Guild theme, and has not been confirmed in any of the Discworld novels.
The Assassins' Guild as described in the books (especially Pyramids and the aforementioned diary) is a parody of English public schools, especially as they are portrayed in fiction.
History
The Assassins' Guild was founded on 27 August AM1512 as the de Munforte Schoool for Gentlemen Assassins.
In AM1576 the school was elevated to the status of a Guild. The name was changed to the Royal Guild of Assassins.
The 'Royal' was dropped after the 'events' of AM1688 (i.e. the Ankh-Morpork Civil War).
A co-educational establishment, the Assassins' Guild is known for providing the best education in Ankh-Morpork. Most of the nobility in the city (and beyond) send their children there. Very few actually become assassins; those who do not learn valuable weapon skills, but are mainly there for the arts courses. Pupils who do not intend to become Assassins are called "Oppidans", from the Latatian for "town." Guild graduates can be expected to be at home in any company, and to be able to play at least one musical instrument. However, those who do not graduate are generally never seen again; as noted in Wyrd Sisters, the Guild is fond of competitive examination.
Coat of Arms
A red and black shield bisected by a purple sash. In the red half a cloaked dagger, in the black half two gold crosses (i.e. a double cross). Motto: Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre (No killing without payment).
School Rules
- No boy is to keep any type of lizard in his room.
- No boy is to build a deadfall in his room.
Code of Conduct
The Assassins' Guild has a strict code of conduct. It is considered absolutely unforgivable for an Assassin to kill for any reason other than being paid to do so. After an inhumation they must by law always leave a receipt. They must also give the client (they view the victim as the client) a sporting chance. With this in mind the Guild strongly disaproves of firearms (which are, in any case, extremely uncommon on the Disc), and also of most (but not all) other mechanical or chemical weapons.
It is accepted that an Assassin may find it necessary to inhume bodyguards, including other Assassins, while on a commission. However, if these can be incapacitated without being killed, it is considered good manners to do so.
An Assassin must always act with style. Without style, he's just an expensive thug. They must always dress stylishly in black (which, although not the best colour for being unseen at night is the correct colour for being an Assassin) and must always seem vaguely bored and, if possible, slightly foreign.
Assassins featured in the books
- 71-Hour-Ahmed (appears in Jingo)
- Dr Cruces (former head of the Guild) (appears in Men At Arms and Pyramids)
- Lord D'Eath (appears in Men At Arms)
- Lord Downey (the current head of the Guild) (first appears in Men at Arms, first appears as Guildmaster in Hogfather, appears in Night Watch as a student bully)
- Lord Vetinari (no longer practising: current Patrician)
- Zlorf Flannelfoot, head of the Guild in The Colour of Magic
- Dr Follett (former head of the Guild) (appears in Night Watch, based on Ken Follett)
- Jonathan Teatime (pronounced "teh-ah-tim-eh") (appears in Hogfather)
- Teppic (appears in Pyramids)
- Jocasta Wiggs (appears in Night Watch, one of the Guild's first female pupils)
- Albert Selachii (appears in Soul Music)
Open Commissons
| Name | Amount | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Hogfather | AM$3,000,000 | |
| Lord Vetinari | AM$1,000,000 | Officially Unlisted |
| Rincewind | AM$950,000 | |
| Samuel Vimes | AM$600,000 and rising | Officially Unlisted |
| Duck Man | AM$132,000 | |
| Nobby Nobbs | AM$4.31 | Believed to be a joke by some of the Watch |
| Foul Ole Ron | One groat | |
| Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler | Tuppence | Price given by one Assassin (Lord Robert Selachii) to another (His apprentice) whilst pursuing Imp Y Celyn, Glod & Lias/Cliff who were Dibbler's associates in Soul Music. The response given was "It's certainly tempting--" |
| Death | AM$??? | |
| Imp y Celyn | AM$??? | Mentioned in Soul Music, Contract was taken out by the Musicians Guild but no price referred to. The Assassins' Guild decided to no longer entertain the contract, and refunded the fee. |
| Glod | AM$??? | Mentioned in Soul Music, Contract was taken out by the Musicians Guild but no price referred to. The Assassins' Guild decided to no longer entertain the contract, and refunded the fee. |
| Lias/Cliff | AM$??? | Mentioned in Soul Music, Contract was taken out by the Musicians Guild but no price referred to. The Assassins' Guild decided to no longer entertain the contract, and refunded the fee. |
Note: "Officially unlisted" means that, while the Guild has priced these people as "clients", it now refuses to accept contracts on them, on the grounds that their deaths would destabilise the city, endangering the Guild itself. Vetinari and Vimes are, as far as is known, the only people on this list.