Today I Am a Clown

Template:Infobox The Simpsons season fifteen "Today I am A Clown" is the sixth episode of The Simpsons' fifteenth season. The episode aired on December 7, 2003.

Episode details

Production Number: FABF01
Original Air Date: December 7, 2003
Writers: Joel H. Cohen
Director: Nancy Kruse
Blackboard: "Over forty and single is not funny."
Couch Gag: Homer is Batman, Bart is Robin, and Marge, Lisa, and Maggie are all Batgirl, as they slide from a pole to a couch, a la the original Batman series.
Guest Voice: Jackie Mason as Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky and Mr. T as himself

Synopsis

Maggie is locked in the bathroom and she is eventually freed, thanks to Lisa trying their rescue solution a second time. The family hears the doorbell, finding Dr. Hibbert, who says that Santa's Little Helper had impregnated his poodle, Rosa Barks, and he turns over the puppies to the Simpson family and making them their problem. Although Lisa reads a Simpsons episode guide that says that Homer was taking Santa's Little Helper to have him neutered, Homer was never able to complete the deed. Bart and Lisa give out puppies to people, including Krusty, who takes him for a walk to his old neighbourhood.

However, when Krusty returns to his old neighbourhood, and finds that his star is not on the Jewish Walk of Fame, he goes to complain and finds out he did not have a bar mitzvah, which means he is not a Jewish man. Bart and Lisa take Krusty to see his father, who agrees to help Krusty achieve his goal. But with this happening, Krusty cannot do shows on Saturday (the Sabbath); therefore, he must seek a replacement, and gets Homer to replace him for the day. Homer's replacement show is a talk show, featuring Moe, Lenny (later replaced by Barney and Disco Stu), and Carl as panelists. The show becomes a success in its own right; meanwhile, Krusty continues to learn his Jewish traditions.

Homer's show is a surprising success, so much that Krusty's show is eventually cancelled by Channel 6. Lisa suggests that Homer put his power to good use after listening to Bart's advice, but ironically, ratings decline and Homer's show is also cancelled. Krusty, after being fired by Channel 6, pitches his bar mitzvah to the Fox network. When his bar mitzvah ("Krusty the Klown's Wet 'n' Wild Bar Mitzvah"), featuring Mr. T as a guest, airs, it becomes a ratings smash, drawing "Raymond rerun good" ratings, but the spectacle disappoints his father. To impress him, Krusty arranges to have a true and almost serious bar mitzvah in a temple.

Quotes

• Krusty: (flipping through the channels) Seen it. Bad. Boring. Saw it on the plane. Rerun. Rerun. Telemundo. Me. Turned it down. ABC. Banned from the set. Lame. Lame. Regis.
• Krusty: (pitching a show) How about a show where girls think I'm a millionaire? But what they don't know is, I'm rife with disease!
• Krusty: (pitching another show) How about you put me in a family of poor people, and I laugh at them?
• Chief Wiggum: Uh, Simpson, I hate to bother you when you're eating, but you're always eating. Will you sign an autograph for my boy?
  Homer: My pleasure.
  Ralph Wiggum: I eat Legos.
  Homer: So do I, son, and look where I am now.
• Homer: (knocking over a bottle of Pepto-Bismol in the bathroom) Oh no! Baby blood!
• Homer: (reading cue cards) Welcome to The Homer Simpson Show. I'm your host... next card... Homer Simpson. It's great to be here in... next card ...Springfield. My guests are... Moe Szyslak, local businessman; Carl Carlson, raconteur; and Lenny Leonard, three-time juror.
• Lisa: Dad, you have great power now, use it well.
  (A thought bubble appears above Homer, showing Abraham Lincoln with John Wilkes Booth behind him)
  Homer: Look out, Mr Lincoln! (knocks out Booth)
  Lincoln: Thank you Homer! (Homer appears on a dollar bill shaking hands with Lincoln)
• (in another dream, Lee Harvey Oswald loads his sniper rifle in Dallas at 12:30 on November 22. Homer and Lincoln appear)
  Homer: (to Abe) You hit him high. I'll hit him low.
  (Homer and Lincoln attack Oswald)
• Mr. T: I pity the fool who didn't bring a fountain pen.
• Mr. T: I pity the schul who didn't bring an envelope to this Bar Mitzvah!