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Voluntary childlessness

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Childfree is a term that some of those who do not have, and do not desire, children, use to describe themselves. An alternative description is "childless by choice".

Etymology and usage

The term stands in contrast to "childless." Some argue that the "-less" implies that children are "lacking" and desired; that the "-less" indicates that something is desired. Childfree persons would argue that their lives are no less complete without offspring. Some may like children, others may be indifferent, and still others may dislike children; but the commonality between childfree people is both a personal lack of desire for parenthood and never having children of one's own, and the wish to use the term "childfree" rather than "childless".

The history of the word is somewhat unclear; it may have been coined in the 1970s by the National Organization for Non-Parents (now defunct). It achieved wider currency in the 1990s when Leslie Lafayette formed one of the first modern childfree groups, the Childfree Network.

Childfree is sometimes capitalized in regular usage, e.g., "He describes himself as Childfree."

It is also frequently abbreviated as "CF" among people who are childfree.

While gay men and lesbians can be childfree, they once rarely adopted the label; the vast majority of those who did were straight (or, potentially, bisexual). With the modern "gay-by boom" (gays and lesbians moving into the parenting sphere), today gays and lesbians are not uncommon in childfree groups.

Motivation

A range of motivations are cited for choosing a childfree lifestyle, individuals may adhere to one or more reason across the range.

Lack of desire for children

  • Lack of a biological urge to procreate.
  • Adolescent/post adolescent disdain for younger children.
  • General dislike of the behavior of children.
  • Desire to express care-giving urges in other ways such as charity or caring for parents or other relatives.
  • Contentment with enjoyment of others' children through being aunts, uncles, educators.

Personal environment and advancement

  • Unwillingness to commit to increased financial responsibility or burden.
  • Fear that parenthood, being an irrevocable state, will be disliked.
  • Wish to maintain a level of emotional intimacy and physical intimacy with partner that is not possible with the presence of children (Marital Satisfaction).
  • Perceived incapacity to be a responsible and patient parent.
  • Maintaining freedom of personal choice:
    • Unwillingness to commit to reduced free time for leisure, hobbies, friends, second jobs.
    • Ability to change career or city of residence at short notice (spontaneous mobility).
    • Wish not to redesign home to fit a child’s needs and safety (for example, expensive houses, art pieces, and collectables).
    • Realization that childbearing would reduce career advancement.

Physical and health concerns

  • A concern that Pregnancy and birth can do significant, occasionally permanent, damage to a woman's body; widening of the girth of the belly, the development of stretch marks, stretching and elongating of the vagina, sagging of the breasts and widening of the areolas, the development of spider veins, scarring of a large portion of the belly in the event of a Caesarean section, and a general increase in body weight.
  • A concern that time limitations or lack of psychological desire may lead to mothers not maintaining the level of personal appearance and condition.
  • Fear and revulsion related to the physical condition of pregnancy, the childbirth experience, and post-natal recovery.
  • Concern for safety of parent or child:

Belief that it is inherently immoral to bring people into the world

  • No consent can be asked or given.
  • The world is full of suffering, and one cannot ensure that any given person will have a good life.
  • Everyone leaves life through death, therefore by giving birth, one guarantees that death will take place.
  • Concern regarding environmental factors and/or overpopulation.

Statistics and Research

  • A 2003 U.S. Census study found that a record number of women in the United States are childless; 44% of women in the age group 15-44 fit that category.
  • The number of these women who are childfree is unknown, but the National Center of Health Statistics confirms that the percentage of American women of childbearing age who define themselves as voluntarily childless (or childfree) rose sharply in the 1990s: from 2.4 percent in 1982 to 4.3 percent in 1990 to 6.6 percent in 1995.
  • Caucasian never-married women have childless levels more than twice as high as African American women. Regardless of marital status, Hispanic women had lower levels of childlessness than non-Hispanic women. [1]
  • Overall, researchers have observed childfree couples to be more educated, more likely to be employed in professional and management occupations, more likely for both spouses to earn relatively high incomes, live in urban areas, less religious, less traditional gender roles, and less conventional [2].
  • David Foot of the University of Toronto concluded that the female’s education is the most important determinant of fertility. The higher the education, the less likely for her to bear children [3].
  • A statistical survey of the childfree found that common reasons for the choice to be childfree included not wanting to sacrifice privacy/personal space for children; having no compelling reason to have children; not wanting to sacrifice time for children; actively not wanting children around; being perfectly content with pets; and seeing the effects of children on family/friends.

Organizations

Controversy

Controversy surrounding the childfree state segments into criticism based on socio-political or religious reasons.

Socio-Political

Childfree individuals are described as being "selfish" for never wanting children; failing to contribute to their nation's future economic stength. This is based on the assumption that in later life individuals become net consumers of national productivity and failing to provide taxpayers to that economy results in unbalanced demand. This argument is countered in two ways; children are themselves net consumers during their development and the efforts of the childfree contribute to their upbringing in society, with an increased disposable income the childfree are more at liberty to provide for their own long term financial stability.

Some childfree regard any governmental, or employer based, incentives offered only to parents, such as a per-child income tax deduction or preferential absence planning and employment legislation, as intrinsically discriminatory, arguing for their removal. Some observe that the commitment of caring for mature or elderly dependents bears a significant financial and time cost and should be liable for similar mechanisms.

The focus on personal acceptance is mirrored in much of the literature surrounding voluntary childlessness. Many early books were grounded in feminist theory and largely sought to dispel the idea that womanhood and motherhood were necessarily the same thing. However, in recent years the childfree have become increasingly politicized. Books and articles such as Burkett's The Baby Boon, argued that childfree people faced not only social discrimination but political discrimination as well. This increasing discontent is frequently focused on incentivisation but it includes concerns such as right-wing and religious demands for censorship on the grounds of "family values".

Medical considerations

There has been a large improvement in contraceptives over the years. Some choosing to be childfree sometimes prefer sterilization, however many have difficulty finding physicians willing to perform sterilizations, especially when they are in their 20's. Some feel patronized about their reproductive choices with the additonial suggestion that they will change their mind later in life and should leave this option open; with the associated risk of lawsuits from patients who do change their mind.

Religious

There has been a debate within religious groups about whether a childfree lifestyle is something to be condemned. Some religious conservatives have stated that it is a rebellion against God's will. In numerous works, including an Apostolic letter written in 1988, Pope John Paul II has stated that the ultimate goal of a woman under God is to have children. [4] The Christian author Albert Mohler says “Couples are not given the option of chosen childlessness in the biblical revelation. To the contrary, we are commanded to receive children with joy as God's gifts, and to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Churches are approaching this issue much like they condemned homosexuality, gay couples, and gay marriage and are calling childfree an "epidemic” and branding those married couples choosing not to procreate as heathens [5]. However, there are new churches being formed due to the child free movement. For example, a group called The Cyber-Church of Jesus Christ Childfree. They are a group of Christians who feel the call to have no descendents by fleshly means, just as Jesus had none. [6]

Political activism

These issues led to many childfree people setting up support networks, either to vent about others or draw strength from the knowledge that they are not alone; groups such as No Kidding! seek to provide social interaction and friendship free from social pressure to have children.

This discontent, though widespread among childfree people, does not translate into a unified political vision. This is largely because childfree people come from all shades of the political spectrum and temper their beliefs accordingly. For example, while many childfree people think of government handouts to parents as "lifestyle subsidies," others accept the need to help out parents but think that their lifestyle should be equally compensated. Meanwhile, other childfree people have been known to express bitterness about the need to fund public schools through general taxation.

There are suggestions of an emergence of political cohesion for example the Australian Childfree Party (ACFP) being proposed in Australia as a childfree political party, promoting the childfree lifestyle as opposed to the family lifestyle [7]. Increasing politicization and media interest has led to the emergence of a second wave of childfree organizations that are openly political in their raisons d'etre, with a number of abortive attempts to mobilize a political pressure group in the U.S.. The first organization to emerge was British, known as Kidding Aside. Despite becoming increasingly vocal and organized, the childfree movement has had little political impact and struggles to have its concerns taken seriously, more frequently treated as little more than as a human interest story.


Books

  • The Baby Boon (ISBN 0743242645) is a book by Elinor Burkett, published in 2000, which outlines a case against many privileges granted to parents (as opposed to non-parents) at various levels of society.
  • Childfree and Sterilized (ISBN 0304337471) is a book by Annily Campbell, published in 1999, which describes the experiences of adult childfree women seeking sterilization in the UK.
  • Maybe One (ISBN 1862300046) is a book by Bill McKibben, published in 1999, which describes the environmental impact of having children. While the book advocates one-child families, there is an obvious unspoken case for having no children.
  • The Childless Revolution (ISBN 0738206741) is a book by Madelyn Cain, published in 2002, which describes the experiences of childless and childfree women, and their similarities and differences.
  • Why Don't You Have Kids? (ISBN 082174853X) is a book by Leslie Lafayette, published in 1995, an early treatise on the subject of modern-day childfreedom by the woman who founded one of its first groups, the Childfree Network.
  • Without Child: Challenging the stigma of childlessness (ISBN 0415924936) is a book by Laurie Lisle, published in 1996, which probes some of the myths and the stereotypes that surround non-mothers.
  • Childfree and Loving It! (ISBN 1904132634) is a book by Nicki DeFago, published in 2005, which deals humorously with the comments childfree people get and challenges the stigma attached to the choice to remain CF. First such book written from a UK viewpoint.
  • Childfree After Infertility: Moving from Childlessness to a Joyous Life (ISBN 0595274382) is a book by Heather Wardell, published in 2003, which espouses the embracing of the childfree philosophy by couples who are medically infertile.
  • The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men (ISBN 0897895983) is a book by Patricia Lunneborg, published in 1999. Based on interviews with 30 American and British men, challenges the stereotype that men without children are immature, selfish, and irresponsible. Finds nine main types, including workaholics, lifelong learners, early retirees, stress reducers, and men avoiding the mistakes of their parents. Argues that men should be active participants in childbearing decisions.
  • Kindervrij Verklaard (ISBN 0646453610) is a book by Marije Feddema and Larissa van Berchum, published in 2005. This first-ever book on childfreedom that was published in Dutch, discusses the definition of the term childfreedom, pioneers and history, the taboo and prejudices, advantages and disadvantages, motivations, lifestyle and views on the future, and contraception and sterilization methods.
  • Childfree Zone is a book by Susan J. and David Moore, published in 2004. An Australian book that contains the experiences and opinions of over 80 child-free people aged between 22 and 60. It is not an academic study or statistical analysis, but a practical, readable and often amusing discussion of the decision to remain child-free.
  • Families of Two: Interviews with Happily Married Couples without children by choice is a book by Laura Carroll, published in 2005. it consists of interviews of over 100-childfree couples that demonstrate and assist in explaining the decreased desire to bring children into the world.

Television

An episode of The Simpsons presented a scenario where people without children, including Childfree adults, squared off against the families with children of Springfield.

Childfree slang

There is a growing corpus of slang terminology used by the childfree, much of it originating in usenet or forums where the active population tend to be hyper-critical. Much of this terminology is not seen as representative of childfree persons in general, with some seeing it as counterproductive in the context of the political aspirations. Common examples include:

  • Anklebiter: a child. Also "sprog", "brat", "bratleigh" and numerous other terms.
  • BNP: "Breeder, Not Parent"; a "breeder" in the specific sense (see below).
  • "Baby rabies": Obsession with having or conceiving a child.
  • Breed: to have children.
  • Breeder: Generally, someone who has, or intends to have, children. Is often used in a more specific sense to refer to obnoxious parents (in contrast with "parent", below).
  • Child-free: besides above, a place and time where no children are permitted.
  • Childless: A person who has no children through circumstances not of their own choosing.
  • Diaperwhipped: A term for parents who are controlled by their child(ren)'s every whim.
  • DINKs "Double income no kids;" couple with no children, both of whom are employed, thereby enabling them to maintain a high standard of living.
  • Duh/duhddy: A term for a father with bad parenting skills.
  • Freaklitter: A large multiple birth caused by misuse of fertility drugs. Sometimes known as fuctuplets or a litter.
  • Free range child: An unsupervised child, usually one who is not staying put or who is wreaking havoc in public.
  • Fuck-trophy: A child, especially one that is shown around by a parent as evidence of their achievements in the fertility arena.
  • Moo/moomie: A term for a mother with bad parenting skills. Comes from the acronym MOO--Mother Obsessed with Offspring. Sometimes used for any mother.
  • Parent: One with children who behaves in a non-obnoxious manner regarding their children, and who is considered to have brought up those children well. (Some Childfree persons do not make the distinction between this and "breeder", above.)
  • PNB: "Parent, Not Breeder"; a "parent" (see above).
  • S-MOO-V: A massive sport-utility vehicle filled with baby paraphernalia, old drive-through food, or abandoned toys, driven erratically by a parent focusing more attention on the children in the back than the road all around him/her.
  • Stork spot: Parking space reserved for pregnant women or for parents accompanying children.
  • SUV stroller: A large, unwieldy, ridiculously tricked-out pram. Usually uncollapsable and pushed with unthinking gusto, as if it were an assault vehicle.
  • Fence-sitter: One who has not yet decided whether or not they want children, but is usually leaning towards being Child-free
  • CF Supporter: A parent (usually a PNB) who supports the Child-free lifestyle.
  • Kr3ativ: A term to describe absurd childrens names, when the parent has decided it would be trendy to choose an abnormal spelling, unsual name, or excessive use of the letter Y.
  • Fur-baby: Often used to describe the pet(s) of someone who is Child-free. Some object to this term.

See also

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