Plates

In the beginning God made Plates

Created by a man who prefers to remain anonymous because of the barrage of autograph requests he will soon receive, this person is a modern day Deep Throat of the New Jersey Camp community.

The Game

The game is called Plates. Beginning promptly at 10:01pm on weeknights when camps are in session, when any number of players gather around a standard doubles ping-pong table holding nothing more than a Styrofoam lunch plate. The game is played using the same principals of ping pong, only Plates athletes do it for the love of the game and not sponsorships for Plates affiliates or Styrofoam Corp. Legend has it that in the early days of the game, actual plates were used by the players. This practice discontinued however due to an abundance of broken plates on the floor which proved hazardous to players.

Once the ping pong ball is served by a random person who happens to be standing at the head of the table, players run around the ping pong table in a circle, with each person striking the ball once before moving on and allowing the person behind them to hit the ball over the tiny green net of doom.

Once the game is down to two players, a best of five is played using standard ping-pong rules until a winner is declared. The loser receives a lovely parting gift, usually in the form of a laugh to the face.

Sweatbands are optional and variations of paddles often arise in the form of books, sofa couches, hungry-hungry hippo games and small children made of plastic. Once plates are used up or must be saved for actual meals; players may hit the ping-pong ball with any object in the room. Things such as flip-flops and pillows make for common "objects". Once this occurs, the game of plates is deemed a game of "Objects".

Wives Tales

Legend has it that superstar uber popular people like David Hasselhoff and Pierce Brosnan have played plates. Hassellhoff quit once learning that the ball was filled with more hot air than himself. Brosnan tried to blow the ball up, and was arrested.

Sasquatch was once photographed holding a plate.

In the days before Plates became an official camp sport, the game was called Norris. Because of a threat of legal action by Chuck Norris' people, the game is called what it is today.

Risks

Players are warned that playing Plates barefooted often leads to black feet and the bubonic plague.

Turning the 90 degree angle at a sprint can do harm to th hip region and lower abdominals. Those with fake limbs or dentures are advised not to participate. In addition you must be 5 foot tall. Those suffering from next and back pain, those pregant or nursing or those who plan to become pregant and those who suffer from motion sickness usually seek the nearest exit.

The game is highly competitive and Plates players agree that if the game does not go on past 3am, you have never really lived.