War Is the H-Word

"War Is the H-Word"
Futurama episode
File:Futurama 302 - War is the H-Word.jpg
Episode no.	Season two
Directed by	J. Stewart Burns
Written by	J. Stewart Burns
Original air dates	November 26, 2000
Episode features
Opening cartoon	Felix the Cat in Neptune Nonsense

War is the H-Word is episode 17 in season 2 of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on November 26, 2000.

Plot

As part of an attempt to scam a convenience store, Fry and Bender enlist in the Earth Army. However, before they can use their 5% military discount to buy chewing gum, Earth declares war on Spheron I—a planet that commanding general Zapp Brannigan says, to his troops, is devoid of any natural resources, and possesses no strategic importance whatsoever.

Concerned for her friends’ safety, Leela attempts to enlist, but the Army has a men-only policy. While Earth’s flagship, the Nimbus, makes its way to the enemy planet, the soldiers undergo training and we discover that Leela has snuck aboard disguised as a man, under the name of Lee Lemon, to whom Brannigan finds himself strangely attracted.

They arrive and discover the enemy is a race of pink, sentient, ball-like creatures. In their first battle Fry fails to stop an attack and instead blows a hole in the ground to hide. Bender manages to stop an enemy bomb by covering it with himself. For his act of cowardice, Brannigan sentences Fry to a demeaning punishment - being Kif’s assistant.

After the initial battle with the balls, the soldiers regroup at camp. The Commander-in-chief, President of Earth Richard Nixon’s Head, sends Bender and Henry Kissinger’s Head to negotiate with the Spheron leaders, the “Brain Balls.”

Brannigan, however, tells everyone else the true plan—a voice-activated bomb has been planted inside of Bender, and will detonate, destroying the whole planet, when Bender says his favorite word: “ass.” Leela and Fry steal a chopper and fly to the negotiating hall; Fry saves the day by telling Bender the plot just in time. However, Bender realizes that he now has the power to make the Brain Balls surrender. While Spheron I is actually their homeworld, and it is the humans who are the “evil invading aliens,” Bender simply demands that they “get the Hell off [his] planet!,” and they all evacuate. An Earth newspaper headline reads “Balls Thoroughly Licked!”

Back at the Planet Express office, Professor Farnsworth and Zoidberg cannot remove the bomb from Bender’s body. Instead, they reset the bomb’s trigger, taking it from the list of words that Bender almost never says. The word is “Antiquing,” which Bender successfully guesses after the fadeout.

Quotes

• Sergeant: Correct, there is no obligation.
  Fry and Bender sign the enlistment papers
  Sergeant: Unless, of course, war were declared.
  Alarm goes off
  Fry: What's that?
  Sergeant: War were declared.
  
• Zapp Brannigan: Alas, after a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low-cut fatigues and lots of harmless pinching, the Army decided women weren't fit for service. Not when I’m in charge.
• Soldier: This is the worst part...the calm before the battle.
  Fry: And then the battle's not so bad?
  Soldier: I forgot about the battle! [whimpers]
• Nixon’s Head: Brannigan!
  Zapp Brannigan: Hmm? (Turns to face Nixon)
  Nixon’s Head: My God, cover yourself! I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man’s gizmo!"
• Zapp Brannigan: You'll be negotiating with the aliens' mysterious leaders, the Brain Balls. (Points to head) They've got a lot of brains... (makes cupping gesture) and they've got a lot of... chutzpah.
• Zapp Brannigan: (Being scrubbed in shower by Kif) A little lower... lower... lower... a lot lower...TOO LOW!... lower...
• Fry: Stop you can't say the next word!
  Bender: Up yours, chump, I said it 980 times before lunch.
• Bender: (in a baseball tune) Ass ass ass ass ass ass...ass!!
• Brain Ball: We demand bouncing, followed by rolling, followed by rolling of the third type.
  Kissinger’s Head: Say what?!?
• Kissinger’s Head: Please, gentlemen, we must put an end to the bloodshed. We have all seen too many body bags und ball sacks.
• Brain Ball: We cannot condone bouncing of the seventh variety.
• Bender: The name of the game is make Bender happy or he blows up the planet!
  (all gasp)
  Brain Ball: Stop, there’s no need to bounce off the handle.
  Bender: That's it! Im sayin' it! A is for a...
  Brain Ball: Stop! We give into all of earths demands! The war is over. Our home planet is yours.
  Fry: Wait, this is your home planet? We’re the evil invading aliens?
  Brain Ball: Correct.
  Bender: Then I guess you learned a valuable lesson. Don't mess with earth!
  Brain Ball: May you bounce in peace.
  Bender: (sternly) Get the hell off my planet.
• iHawk: (maudlin) This isn't a war, it's a murder. (irreverent, in Groucho Marx voice) This ain't a war, it's moyder!
• Zoidberg: (treating patient) scalpel, blood bucket, Priest, next patient.

References

• The title is a reference to General Sherman’s famous statement that "War is Hell", and is also possibly a dig at censors within American television networks who will usually object to the inclusion of the word “Hell” in animated television shows.
• A sign outside the shop Fry and Bender are in at the start of the episode reads “Free bag of Ice-9 with 6-pack,” a reference to the substance Ice-9, created by Kurt Vonnegut in his novel Cat’s Cradle.
• Zapp Brannigan briefs the troops in front of a large United States of Earth flag, a parody of the opening scene of the movie Patton.
• The Piñata lightsaber scene parodies the scene where Obi-Wan Kenobi trains Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars movie.
• Bender is treated by a robot doctor named iHawk — a parody of Alan Alda’s Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce (voiced by actor/impersonator Maurice LaMarche), and the Apple line of iProducts. At one point, the robot flips a switch from “irreverent” to “maudlin,” a reference to the duality of Alda’s character portrayal. Additionally, Todd Susman provides the voice of the P.A. announcer as he did in M*A*S*H.
• An extended M*A*S*H joke is played in the episode when Bender is evacuated to a mobile hospital. A “Suicide Is Painless” soundalike appears in the score, and many of the ensuing jokes are in M*A*S*H style. The alienese on the tent says *M*E*A*T, hence “mash meat.” Also, the first time that iHawk and Dr. Zoidberg in the tent it's a parody of Hawkeye fighting with Major Frank Burns, with Zoidberg as Frank, the unnamed nurse as Major Margaret Houlihan, and iHawk as Hawkeye.
• Bender’s Top Ten Used Words list is a reference to David Letterman’s Top Ten.
• There are numerous references to the ball aliens as testicles: “These balls are making me testy!”; Brannigan's referring to the “Brain Balls” as having a lot of brains, and a lot of chutzpa (which he says while cupping his hand and raising it); and the formerly mentioned newspaper headline, “Balls Thoroughly Licked,” are a few.

Trivia

• The episode’s original east coast airing was interrupted by a special news bulletin. Unfortunately, the interruption came a minute before the very end of the episode, right before the audience was to learn Bender’s fate after supposedly triggering the bomb on Earth.
• 'Bender’s Top Ten Most Frequently Uttered Words’ in full:

10. 'Chump'

9. 'Chumpette'

8. 'Yours'

7. 'Up'

6. 'Pimpmobile'

5. 'Bite'

4. 'My'

3. 'Shiny'

2. 'Daffodil'

1. 'Ass'

• At the end, Bender says “I’m all right,” but the captions say “Hootenanny?”
• Bender believes his least frequently uttered words to be:

8.'Please'

7.'Thanks'

6.'Sorry'

5.'Funderful'

4.'Non-alcoholic'

3.'Compassion'

2.'Shrimp-Toast'

1.'Antiquing'

• At the beginning of the episode, Fry is shown looking at these gum brands, contemplating which to buy:
  • Spider Yum
  • Hubble Bubble (A cross reference between the Hubble Space Telescope and Dubble Bubble Gum, plus a possible reference to Hubba Bubba)
  • Liquid Nitrogum (A parody on Liquid nitrogen)
  • Big Pink (A parody on Big Red ) - Fry chooses this because it is the only gum with the breath freshening power of ham. And according to Bender it Pinkens your teeth while you chew.
• This is the second episode in which the words "ding dong" is mentioned in the same room as Nixon, the first being "A Head in the Polls"