Crepitus (mythology)

Crepitus is an alleged Roman god of flatulence. It is unlikely that this deity was ever actually worshipped. He appears, however, in a number of important works of French literature.

Ancient sources for the worship of this alleged deity do not exist. Voltaire, however, in a passage of his Philosophical Dictionary devoted to changing conceptions of deity, alludes to a number of real or alleged Roman deities of a less exalted status:

La déesse des tétons, dea Rumilia ; la déesse de l’action du mariage, dea Pertunda ; le dieu de la chaise percée, deus Stercutius ; le dieu Pet, deus Crepitus, ne sont pas assurément bien vénérables. . . Il est sûr que deus Crepitus, le dieu Pet, ne donnait pas la même idée que deus divum et hominum sator, la source des dieux et des hommes.

"The goddess of breasts, dea Rumilia; the goddess of the marital act, dea Pertunda; the god of the toilet, deus Stercutius the god Fart, deus Crepitus, were surely not objects of reverence. . . It is certain that deus Crepitus, the god Fart, did not give the same idea as deus divum et hominum sator, the creator of gods and men."

— "Polytheism", entry in the Philosophical Dictionary of Voltaire.

Relying on Voltaire's account, Gustave Flaubert put a memorable speech into the mouth of the alleged deity Crepitus in The Temptation of St. Anthony:

CREPITUS: Moi aussi l'on m'honora jadis. On me faisait des libations. Je fus un

Dieu!

L'Athénien me saluait comme un présage de fortune, tandis que le Romain

dévot me maudissait les poings levés et que le pontife d'Égypte, s'abstenant de fèves, tremblait à ma voix et pâlissait à mon odeur. . .

J'ai eu mes jours d'orgueil. Le bon Aristophane me promena sur la scène,

et l'empereur Claudius Drusus me fit asseoir à sa table. Dans les laticlaves des patriciens j'ai circulé majestueusement! Les vases d'or, comme des tympanons, résonnaient sous moi;--et quand plein de murènes, de truffes et de pâtés, l'intestin du maître se dégageait avec fracas, l'univers attentif apprenait que César avait dîné!

"I once was honoured. Libations were made to me. I was a God!

"The Athenian once hailed me as a favourable omen, while the devout Roman cursed me with raised fits, and the pontiff of Egypt, abstinent from beans, trembled at my voice and paled at my odour. . .

"I had my days of pride. Aristophanes placed me on the stage, and the emperor Claudius Drusus had me sitting at his table. I made the rounds majestically in the laticlavia of patricians! The golden vessels resounded under me like kettledrums — and when stuffed with whelks, truffles, and pates, the intestine of the Master emptied itself with commotion, an attentive universe learned that Caesar had dined!"