Jump to content

Talk:Charlotte Motor Speedway/GA2

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Nascar9919 (talk · contribs) 05:23, 13 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 12:03, 26 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Prose review

[edit]

Lede

[edit]
  • After initially refusing, Turner eventually partnered with Smith after Smith agreed to sell shares needed for the track's construction. - Any way to avoid repeating Smith twice in three words?
  • the track's construction. Construction of the facility was completed in less than 11 months. - Any way to avoid repeating construction twice in succession?

Description

[edit]
  • In 2019, the speedway's chicane was modified.[8] ... Further modifications to two of the road course's chicanes were announced in 2024. - We went from one chicane to at least three? I'm not following.
  • Charlotte Motor Speedway (CMS) is located directly next to U.S. Route 29. - Makes more sense to introduce the abbreviation in the previous subsection, which only uses "the speedway"
  • You don't seem to have introduced that the track is located in Concord in the body of the article

History

[edit]
  • collaborating with local track officials - How were there officials when CMS didn't exist? Were there other tracks in the area?
  • the fact that Turner did not have enough funds to start his own track ... Smith announced his intention to build his own speedway to rival Turner's on April 22, 1959, the same day Turner announced his track - If he thought that Turner was never going to complete the project, is it truly "to rival"?
  • but was delayed due to legal issues - Any further information available?
  • Reports of feral hornets were also made, leading to multiple workers quitting. - Why not simplify to "Feral hornets led to multiple workers quitting."
  • a mutiny formed between Flowe and his workers, citing unpaid fees and bounced checks. - Mutiny is not used in its dictionary definition here. This sounds like Flowe and his employees held a labor action or work stoppage. Also goes to neutrality, as a mutiny deals with lawful leadership, whereas this was a contract dispute
  • Nearing the end of the facility's construction, a mutiny formed between Flowe and his workers, citing unpaid fees and bounced checks. On June 9, days before the World 600, Flowe parked several earthmovers on the track and stopped construction, with Flowe threatening to sue. - Whom was Flow threatening to sue?
  • CMS cost around two million dollars according to McIlvaine, with $74,000 in debts owed to Flowe by the end of its initial construction. - You've provided adjusted-for-inflation values elsewhere. That would be useful here.
  • a souvenir program advertising seller - was he selling advertising spaces in the souvenir program, selling souvenir programs, advertising souvenir programs, or...?
  • by both Smith and Turner, with Turner threatening legal action. - Any way of avoiding the repetition of "Turner"?
  • Moneys owing - Another spot where adjusted-for-inflation may be useful.
  • ceasing all officers' and directors' positions - This doesn't read as grammatical. Do you mean "with all officers and directors removed from their positions"?
  • On December 9, Craven ruled to let the track's management find loans and funds to creditors who were seeking money, with Robinson being ordered to come up with a plan to ensure the $900,000 payment to various creditors, essentially saving CMS. - Not clear. Do you mean that Craven ruled to allow the track's management to find loans, with which they could pay off their creditors?
  • However, Cross, who was planning to loan the rest of the funds needed, was rejected. - Do you mean "However, a loan offered by Cross to cover the remaining debts rejected."?
  • December to January 3, 1963 - Any specific start date?
  • The track later oversaw numerous driver fatalities in the mid-1960s; longtime driver Glenn "Fireball" Roberts died on July 2, 1964 due to complications from a fiery crash at the 1964 World 600, - you've introduced Roberts above; the link should be provided there, and perhaps his full name.
  • spat on each other in the media - per WP:SLANG, we should use a more formal term than "spat". They were certainly not exchanging saliva.
  • I see you are using "by [year]" a lot. Generally, "by" means something happened before a year and would go with present/past perfect, whereas "in" means something happened during a year and uses the past tense.
  • levigation - worth including a link to Wiktionary?

Events

[edit]
  • There are a lot of small subsections here. Is it worth combining them to reduce the extent to which the article is broken up?
  • Fixed. Let me know if you want it tweaked further.

General

[edit]
  • I have edited the article. Please review.
  • A few more currency amounts that would benefit from adjustment for inflation
  • Earwig's Tool shows no copyright violation.

Source review

[edit]
  • Please review sources for capitalization (compare Ref 28 and 81, for example)
  • Please review article to ensure that references appear in order (note [27][26] in Description, for example)
  • Please review to ensure that inclusion of the publisher is consistent (compare Ref 193 with Ref 194)

Image review

[edit]
  • ALT text is not standardized; please ensure that all images either have or do not have ALT text.

Conclusion

[edit]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Charlotte_Motor_Speedway/GA2&oldid=1248415453"