User:Rursus/Paranoia

The Cabal of Paranoia

This is the page of The Cabal of Paranoia, or more specifically: the General Cabal of Generalized Paranoia, GCGP. No discrimination! Every explanation that explains all our misfortunes are true, if they reveal the hidden conspiracy!! All suspections you may have about Them, belongs to this Cabal, as a fundamental tenet.

Fundamental concepts

The ordinary world as we see it is just a façade for a reality that is fundamentally different from what we imagine it. This façade is just erected to lure us into a great slavery where we are exploited and imprisoned to perish horribly. Not more precise than that. Now, this state of the matters is caused by the evil schemes of Them. (We can assign them a suitable description, a name, MIB, the Government, the World Conspiracy, Sceptre, or so, but it is not important). They are the evil force behind everything, and they are the evil exploiters that are out for us.

They are an evil cult, with access to incredibly crafty and powerfull infernalic paraphenalia that can be used for coercing any of us to submission, if we weren't already aware of their evil schemes. They will laugh when we cry, and they will panic when we are lucky, so then they use their evil machinations, phantastical machines, magical formulas or some other means to spy us out, and cause all our troubles (buttons falling out of our shirts, us tripping on banana shells, not getting the job we wanted, an unexpected parking ticket or whatever) - it is never our own fault.

Apart from that, they're very aware of our own importance, that we are elected by God, almost Superhuman (or actually Superhuman) Heroes predestined to save the world, but they're all the time tripping us in our efforts. Naturally, they're out for us. Everybody else that claim that they're elected by God, almost Superhuman (or actually Superhuman) Heroes predestined to save the world, are obviously generally nuts, and should go to a Shrink as fast as possible, to get the strongest drug possible, but we, ourselves are really really elected by God, almost Superhuman (or actually Superhuman) Heroes predestined to save the world, and that's the whole truth of it, everybody who claims the opposite is clearly demonstrating that they are one of Them!!

The Anti-Cabal Cabal

We have therefore decided to found our own secret cabal with the dedicated purpose to reveal all evil cabals, if possible to subdue them and get the hands on all their phantastic paraphenalia, technology and magical potions in order to crush all them, and make all of them our personalized slaves and automatons. The rest of the world we're going to control with magical biorays and clueless hypnosis television, make an enormous monolithic world state governed by ourselves in souvereign to fulfill all our pleasures and whims, calling ourselves Big Brothers and Master Minds.

The cabal orients around the alternate physics devices that we are going to steal and construct in order to achieve our goal. The Big Brother #1, the Glorious almost Superhuman User:Rursus, exemplifies this by his splendid article on how to make a spirit trap.

Slave or Master?

The humankind will become divide into two parts:

• the Masters, members of GCGP,
• the slaves, that will become human automatons in the control of the Masters.

The only way to avoid becoming a slave is to become member of the Anti-Cabal Cabal, the General Cabal of Generalized Paranoia, GCGP, and to be eligible for GCGP you must recover a secret device, a magical potion or formula, and describe the function so that we can peruse it for our world-conquering cabal.

Current members

• ... said: Rursus (^mbork³) 09:58, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

• device recovered: User:Rursus/spirittrap 997
• magical number: 997
• totem animal: Tasmanian Devil