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Nonsense Articles I've Seen

explosive potatoes

explosive potatoes are specially bred potatoes that are designed to be thrown like hand grenades. in fact many things that are thought to be grenades are actually explosive potatoes they have been kept a secret from the public by the government because they are afraid that the public will get widespread access to these deadly devices. the explosive potato creates an explosion that can rip through thin sheets of armor and can cause severe burns and shock.

Gadunka

Once, Gadunka was a tiny sea creature until the power of the Mask of Life turned him into a razor-toothed monster! Now it is ready to challenge the Toa Mahri and the Barraki to claim its territory beneath the sea. Gadunka wields a squid launcher that he found on the sea floor.

Lamuda

A Lamuda is a monster that looks like a deer. It runs around really fast and always knocks things over. That's all it does. If you find a Lamuda in the wild, you have to kill it. You have to.

Dead Pockets of Anti-Gravity

Dead pockets of anti-gravity are invisible pockets without gravity. If you fall into one not only will float inside the pocket but you will be unable to move and will be stuck in it because there is no time in a dead pocket of anti-gravity. Theoretically, you could fall into a dead pocket and be stuck in it for eternity but eternity is outside of time thus making it an extremely long amount of time. Some believe that when an object travelling faster than the speed of light hits a dead pocket it cause anti-matter destroying the pocket. If you were trapped in the pocket when it was destroyed you would be realeased from the anti-gravity but all the time that had passed while you were in anti-time would catch up to you thus killing you. It has never been proven but some say people have been trapped in dead pockets of anti-gravity in Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, and other regions of northern Europe. If a dead pocket were to ever be destroyed an incredible amount of energy would be released. In the future some think it could be used as a source of electricity. There are also theories that if driving a car at somewhere around 60 mph and hitting a dead pocket it would be like driving 240 mph into a 12 foot thick carbon fiber wall, thus killing you. There are many theories about dead pockets of anti-gravity but this is the most believed of them.

Runi Grit

Runi Grit is a well known legend at Brigham Young University. Runi Grit is said to be a werewolf that is contained inside the small power plant on campus.

The Story The story of Runi Grit is based around the mysterious sound that comes from the power plant on campus. This sound can be heard throughout the whole campus. The noise sounds extremely similar to a werewolf that yells and then subsequently laughs in a cynical manner thereafter. Many have ventured forth to track the sound and have documented such events. It has been unanimously decided by the students of BYU that the sound does indeed come from the power plant on campus.

Pita Boy

Pita Boy: a rare mutant creature that spawned sometime before time began. Everyone that has ever seen it screams out in horror and runs away. It is a creature rejected from society. It mainly lives on pita sandwiches and beer. Once in a blue moon it can shed its ugly skin and just become a regularly plain ugly human. It likes to play poker and Halo 3 (which it mostly sucks at.) It has amazing computer hacking skills, the only halfway human thing about it. The police are currently looking for it; if you have any tips call Coach Adolph Munoz at his school number. Note: The police have received a tip from two very brave girls that Pita Boy would be attending a poker party on Friday, March 7th. Those girls will receive a great sum of money and recongnition. The Pita Creature will be tortured until revealing its computer hacking skills. Then it will be exterminated.