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Talk:Adrenal crisis/GA3

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 04:13, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: DoctorWhoFan91 (talk · contribs) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Expect remarks in a few hours. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll go section by section.

Lead

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  • Remove the technical terms in parenthesis- the lead does not have to be technical

Signs and symptoms

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  • In an adrenal crisis, hypotension occurs due to hypocortisolism and is secondary to hypovolemia.: What does this mean?

Diagnosis

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  • First para is slightly confusing, and reads kind of like a manual, rephrase.

Prevention

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  • which is a serious cause for concern.: I'm not sure if this is encyclopaedic.
  • Use different words than "should" for most/all instances; should here and in the article as a whole makes it sound like a manual most of the time

Treatment

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  • along with suppress antidiuretic hormone: typo?

Outlook

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  • People with hypoadrenalism are more likely to die from adrenal crises; the death rate from adrenal crises can amount to 6% of crisis events: huh? rephrase

Epidemiology

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all fine

Special Populations

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  • Older adults frequently experience falls and fractures, which may be linked to postural hypotension, especially in those who have primary adrenal insufficiency.: rephrase to center primary adrenal insufficiency
  • Older people ... the same population.: Merge these paragraphs, too small alone
  • Most cases of adrenal insufficiency in pregnancy are identified before conception.: Rephrase, I understand what it means, but in pregnancy and before conception is just jarring
  • It has been estimated that 5–10 episodes of adrenal crisis occur for every 100 patient-years in those with adrenal insufficiency: What is this sentence trying to say?

Mechanism

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half-life meaning that: comma between life and meaning

  • it effects: "this effects" will be better

References

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They look fine.

Causes

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  • An absolute or relative lack of cortisol, causes adrenal crises as there is not enough tissue glucocorticoid activity to preserve homeostasis.[10]: Remove, I think this got accidently repeated here
  • congenital disorders such as: or congential disorders... (also, is everything after this until the period an example?)
  • haemochromatosis have been known: .. have also been known...
  • in rectal, paraspinal, intradermal, intraarticular, injectable, nasal, inhaled, or topical preparations.: I think some of the easier ones(intradermal, intraarticular) can use their common terms and the technical one in brackets
  • insipidus are more likely: are even more likely
  • for hydrocortisone.: Mention why that would lead to decrease in cortisol

Overall

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GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

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