Talk:Adrenal crisis/GA3

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 04:13, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: DoctorWhoFan91 (talk · contribs) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Expect remarks in a few hours. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll go section by section.

Remove the technical terms in parenthesis- the lead does not have to be technical

In an adrenal crisis, hypotension occurs due to hypocortisolism and is secondary to hypovolemia.: What does this mean?

which is a serious cause for concern.: I'm not sure if this is encyclopaedic.
Use different words than "should" for most/all instances; should here and in the article as a whole makes it sound like a manual most of the time

People with hypoadrenalism are more likely to die from adrenal crises; the death rate from adrenal crises can amount to 6% of crisis events: huh? rephrase

all fine

Older adults frequently experience falls and fractures, which may be linked to postural hypotension, especially in those who have primary adrenal insufficiency.: rephrase to center primary adrenal insufficiency
Older people ... the same population.: Merge these paragraphs, too small alone
Most cases of adrenal insufficiency in pregnancy are identified before conception.: Rephrase, I understand what it means, but in pregnancy and before conception is just jarring
It has been estimated that 5–10 episodes of adrenal crisis occur for every 100 patient-years in those with adrenal insufficiency: What is this sentence trying to say?

half-life meaning that: comma between life and meaning

They look fine.

An absolute or relative lack of cortisol, causes adrenal crises as there is not enough tissue glucocorticoid activity to preserve homeostasis.[10]: Remove, I think this got accidently repeated here
congenital disorders such as: or congential disorders... (also, is everything after this until the period an example?)
haemochromatosis have been known: .. have also been known...
in rectal, paraspinal, intradermal, intraarticular, injectable, nasal, inhaled, or topical preparations.: I think some of the easier ones(intradermal, intraarticular) can use their common terms and the technical one in brackets
insipidus are more likely: are even more likely
for hydrocortisone.: Mention why that would lead to decrease in cortisol

It's long, might take some time, but having read GA1 and GA2, should pass easily. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 07:58, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Some more sections reviewed. Just phrasing issues, more or less. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 15:50, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Review done, IntentionallyDense. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 16:48, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·