Talk:Colleen Howe

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Date	Process	Result
March 12, 2009	Peer review	Reviewed
March 13, 2009	WikiProject peer review	Reviewed

A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on March 14, 2009.

The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that sports agent and author Colleen Howe, known as "Mrs. Hockey", passed away from Pick's disease?

Biography: Sports and Games

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Resources

McGraw, Bill (6 March 2009). "'Mrs. Hockey' blazed new trails to support husband". The Detroit Free Press. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
Windsor, Shawn; Sipple, George (7 March 2009). "Wings fans mourn loss of 'Mrs. Hockey,' Colleen Howe". The Detroit Free Press. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
Doyle, Paul (7 March 2009). "On The Fly: Remembering Colleen Howe". The Hartford Courant. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
Walker, Ian (6 March 2009). "HOCKEY: Gordie and Colleen Howe honoured at Giants game". The Vancouver Sun. Retrieved 7 March 2009. {{cite news}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter: |1= (help)
Green, Jerry (7 March 2009). "Howe, Mrs. Hockey, was first lady of sports". The Detroit News. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
O'Connor, Joe (6 March 2009). "Howes' romance outlives ravages of disease". National Post. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
"Colleen Howe, wife of hockey great Gordie Howe, dies at age 76". The Canadian Press. 7 March 2009. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
"Howe's wife dies after lengthy illness". Canwest News Service. 6 March 2009. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
"'Mrs. Hockey' Colleen Howe dies". The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. 6 March 2009. Retrieved 7 March 2009.
Kimelman, Adam (6 March 2009). "Colleen Howe passes away at 76". NHL.com. Retrieved 7 March 2009.

Peer Review page

Colleen Howe

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…Colleen Howe sadly passed away recently and the article will probably be viewed quite a lot by the WWW, and it should be ship shape - as one of Wikipedia's finer works.

Thanks, SriMesh | talk 02:28, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by JiggleJog: Okay. Here goes: the first two sentences are baffling.

At first, you identify Gordie as "Gordie Howe" but then you call Collen Howe's sons "her sons". Then in the second sentence you decide to call Gordie "her husband".....
I know what you are trying to do here. But it is silly, and just causes a reader to say, "Ouch. Whaaaaat?"
The autogenerated review says that your lead should be longer. Well, who really cares whether or not a lead fits into a formula (which has been specified by Wikipedia) as the rule when that rule is a stupid rule. If one has a short article, there is no need for a 350 word summary. However...a good lead should be interesting enough to hook your reader into wanting to read on. In your case, your lead ends abruptly with a parenthetical thought, one which really says more about who says what about the Gretzky Award then it does about Mrs. Howe. I think you need to reorganize the close of the Lead so that your reader is excited, not bewildered.
By the time, I got to the following statement I gave up: "She was instrumental in the construction of the Gordie Howe Hockeyland arena, Michigan as well as Michigan's first indoor ice hockey rink." I gave up for two reason. First of all, the sentence makes no sense; and secondly, I had been copyediting as I had gone along and the copyediting had become so frequent that I had lost all concentration by the close of that sentence. What in the devil is meant by Hockeyland arena, Michigan?
You need to copyedit much much more.
If it is the first indoor rink in Michigan, the reader is left to believe the Detroit Red Wings played their games outdoors until the construction of the Joe Louis Arena. Of course the Detroit Olympia was an indoor rink prior to Hockeyland Arena.
Also, the pull quote style is no longer acceptable (i.e. according to Wikipedia current standards) on "fine featured Wikipedia articles" so I suggest that you merely work your quotes into the text. Unless there is a real reason for blocking a quote (e.g. 4-5 lines or more), it should be treated as little more than what it is: a quote.
I will continue copyediting tomorrow when my sanity returns. I did however get a chuckle out of this: "...will probably be viewed quite a lot by the WWW, and it should be ship shape - as one of Wikipedia's finer works." Thanks for the lift; it made my day. *smile* JiggleJog (talk) 20:28, 12 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Biography WP Peer Review page

Colleen Howe

I've listed this article for peer review because…Colleen Howe sadly passed away recently and the article will probably be viewed quite a lot by the WWW, and it should be ship shape - as one of Wikipedia's finer works. Kind regards and thank you SriMesh | talk 02:34, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Note: A general PR was opened here as well. §hep ^Talk 04:10, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Review by JiggleJog

Apparently you listed your desire for a review in both "biography peer review" and "general peer review". I reviewed your article over here. But I am still working on it—that is, copyediting the darned thing. Finding a good copyeditor before you request a peer review is always a good procedure. This allows your reviewers to read your article without constant interruptions like missing commas or spelling, or absolute confusion. JiggleJog (talk) 15:04, 13 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Halls of Fame

The claim that she and Howe were inducted into the US Hockey Hall of Fame isn't verified on the US Hockey Hall of Fame list of enshrinees. Any way to get primary verification? Bongo matic 02:45, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well isn't that something it is listed on the Vancouver Sun article Star article CBC article tsn article ctv article and so on, the google list goes on forever. SriMesh | talk 02:54, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Mayhaps the newspapers are confusing the Wayne Gretsky Award from the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame with being inducted directly into the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame if she is not on the actual Hockey Hall of Fame website. The newspaper sources for the Wayne Gretsky Award are sporting news nhl.com globe and mail and ctv to name a few.SriMesh | talk 02:54, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps after all this newspaper hullaballoo she will be inducted, if she is not already. SriMesh | talk 02:54, 8 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Letter send and reply received

Copy and paste as below

Re: Re Howe and U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame Monday, March 9, 2009 10:38 AM From: "Hall Info" <info@ushockeyhallmuseum.com> To: saskgenweb@yahoo.com Mark Howe was Inducted in 2003. His Family, Gordie, Colleen, Mark and Marty, received the Wayne Gretzky Award in 2000.

Mrs. Howe is NOT Inducted in the United States Hockey Hall of Fame Museum, only her son, Mark.

Original Message ----- From: "julia adamson" <saskgenweb@yahoo.com>

To: <info@ushockeyhallmuseum.com> Sent: Monday, March 09, 2009 12:05 PM Subject: Re Howe and U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame

> > Hello there > I am a free lance reporter following up on the recent passing of Mrs. Hockey, Colleen Howe. A great number of newspapers are stating that she is the first woman inducted into the U.S Hockey Hall of Fame and that her husband Gordie Howe and two sons, Mark and Marty Howe were also inducted. > > When I peruse the indcutee list > http://www.ushockeyhall.com/enshrinees.cfm > or the web site of > U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame Museum > http://www.ushockeyhall.com/ > I can only find MARK HOWE inducted in 2003. > > Are you able to clarify for me? > > Thank you very much. > > Kind Regards > JuliaSriMesh | talk 21:13, 9 March 2009 (UTC) There has also been a letter sent to the Canadian Hockey Hall of Fame but no reply has been received as of yet. SriMesh | talk 23:09, 9 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ohio peer review - deletion

So does this woman have any relation to Ohio? §hep ^Talk 04:15, 12 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It was reported originally that she was from Sandusky Ohio and there is also Sandusky Michigan which is her home town. sorrySriMesh | talk 06:20, 12 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

unintended gender bias? / visibility

It seems a bit weird that in an article about a talented, accomplished woman, the only image is of her husband. I appreciate that he's not exactly a minor figure, but still. Who is this article about? Pufferfyshe (talk) 12:55, 10 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified

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Michigan's first indoor ice hockey rink

"She was instrumental in the construction of Michigan's first indoor ice hockey rink" - while the source uses the same wording, surely there is something missing in this description. First ice hockey only rink, maybe? First public ice hockey rink? I mean, it's not like the Red Wings played outdoors. Echoedmyron (talk) 14:05, 22 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]