Talk:The Daleks/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 22:36, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 22:36, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

The infobox image needs ALT text.
I am not sure about the use of the image. It does not seem to be connected with any critical commentary so it seems rather random to me. I am not sure if it is needed.
The image is iconic. It is the last shot of episode one, and the very first appearance of a Dalek - all we see in this episode is the sucker-stick, but the look of sheer horror on Barbara's face is one of the defining moments of the programme. --Redrose64 🌹 (talk) 11:07, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the response, but this needs to be made clear in the article with a citation. Unless it is already stated in the article (which I apologize for reading over it for some reason), I cannot find this anywhere in the article. It would seem to fit in the "Critical response" subsection the best. Aoba47 (talk) 15:32, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Would a link for “serial” be helpful (i.e. serial (radio and television))? I am not familiar with this phrase in this context. I am an American so that could be why I have not seen this before.
For this phrase (the Doctor's greatest extraterrestrial enemies), I am not sure if the “greatest” part is appropriate as unless it is supported by a citation, then it comes across as POV issues.
I would revise this part (this story marks the first appearance of the Doctor's greatest extraterrestrial enemies, the Daleks, and is also the first to feature recurring Skaro people, the Thals.) to (this story marks the first appearance of the Doctor's greatest extraterrestrial enemies, the Daleks, and the recurring Skaro people, the Thals.) for more concise language.
The term “Daleks” is linked multiple times in the lead.
Include Susa’s full name when you first mention her in the lead.
For this part (who are surviving off the radiation that remains in the atmosphere after a nuclear war they waged with their enemies), I would revise “who are surviving” to “who survive”.
For this part (they discover more about the planet and the ensuing war, and attempt to broker peace), I do not think the comma is necessary.
This quote "bug-eyed monsters” either needs a citation or paraphrased.

Plot

For this part (where the Doctor tries to determine their position by taking a reading of the stars), the Doctor link should go to the First Doctor article and specify in the prose that it is the First Doctor.

Conception and writing

For this part (The show's second serial was always planned to be futuristic), I would include the show’s title and the link as I do not think you have actually linked the show in the body of the article.

Design and music

The image requires ALT text.
The image caption needs a citation, particularly for the “the show's most popular villains” part.
The first paragraph is rather long. Do you think it could be separated into two paragraphs?

Casting and characters

Great job with this subsection.

Filming

I could not find any issues with this subsection.

Broadcast and ratings

For this part (The first episode was broadcast on BBC TV on 21 December 1963, and was watched by 6.9 million viewers. The following episode received 6.4 million viewers. By the third episode, news about the Daleks had spread, and the episode was watched by 8.9 million viewers.), could you make the reference clear? I am not sure if Reference 25 or Reference 26 supports this.

Critical response

You only mention the year for the A.V. Club, but not for the other ones so I was a little confused by this choice.

Commercial releases

Please link VHS and DVD.
Could you specify what “special features” were included.

In print

Just a clarification question about this part (The Daleks was the first serial to be adapted as a novel.). Do you mean the first serial of Doctor Who or the first serial ever?

Soundtrack

I would link CD.

Film version

Good work with this part.

Final comments

Great work with this! Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Have a great week! Aoba47 (talk) 06:11, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Where you say that a particular image needs/requires ALT text, this is not part of the GA criteria (or even the stricter FA criteria), so is a nice-to-have but not a must-have. --Redrose64 🌹 (talk) 11:07, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the comment. I do not see why you could not just add ALT text as it is a rather quick and easy process, but I will respect your decision. Aoba47 (talk) 15:32, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, Aoba47! Just a note: if you're finished with your initial look at the article, putting the review on hold is a great way to get the quickest response, as it pings the nominator—that said, I have the page in my watchlist anyway, so I could see your review regardless. I've gone through and addressed most of your comments, though I disagree with adding a citation to the "bug-eyed monsters" quote in the lead, per WP:CITELEAD, as it is cited later in the article. Let me know if you have any more concerns. Thanks again! – Rhain ☔ 14:03, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing everything. I was actually waiting to put the "on hold" part up until I read through my review comments again. I did the review pretty late at night so I wanted to make sure everything was coherent. My only concern is still with the image as the justification for its inclusion (that it is a defining moment of the episode of the episode and show) is not present in the article and supported by a citation. As an unfamiliar reader, it is still not made clear why this image is there as opposed to other ones, and you will need a citation for the "defining moment" aspect as otherwise, it could be interpreted as original research. Hope you find this helpful and I will pass it to a GA once this part is addressed. Aoba47 (talk) 15:32, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: I don't think it needs a citation at all, considering the article itself doesn't state that it's a "defining moment" (and thus there's nothing to cite), but I've added some information and references nonetheless. Let me know if there's anything else. Thanks! – Rhain ☔ 21:30, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

An clear explanation of the image's use in the article is required to justify its inclusion. It is a non-free image, and the inclusion of non-free material are typically limited to cases in which it further illustrates critical commentary beyond the prose. Without the citations, there is no clear reason (especially as someone who has never seen the show) for including the image other than for aesthetic reasons. I hope that clarifies this. Aoba47 (talk) 22:40, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I understand that, but typically that justification is required in the image's fair use rationale itself, rather than in the article. Either way, I think including the information in the infobox is beneficial, as it elaborates why the "first ever on-screen appearance of the Daleks" is so important to those who are unaware, so I appreciate that you brought it up. – Rhain ☔ 22:44, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Verdict

Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this. Have a great rest of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 22:41, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! – Rhain ☔ 22:44, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.