Talk:Un-Break My Heart/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Tomica (talk · contribs) 17:27, 13 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

There is one disambiguation link (One and One) and reference number 50 is dead. Fix/Remove them. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:43, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

No issues

Lead

It was then released ---> It was released — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:33, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

"Un-Break My Heart" received mixed reviews from music critics; however, it won a Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance in 1997. ---> Explain why it got mixed reviews, (you can maybe write, Music critics were divided on the songs [explain why]) and then in other sentence say that it won the award. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I preferred to delete the sentence. If it received mixed critical reception, let it be explained below. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:33, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

number one ---> number-one — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:33, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

It also reached number one in Austria, Belgium (Waloonia), Europe, Sweden and Switzerland, while reaching the top five on several European countries. --> In Europe, the song reached the top-five in more than ten countries while peaking at number one in Austria, Belgium (Wallonia), Sweden and Switzerland. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--Hahc21 (talk) 14:33, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

An accompanying music video was directed by Billie Woodruff, and portrays Braxton mourning on the death of her lover, while remembering the good times they had together. ---> Billie Woodruff directed the accompanying video for the single. It portrays Braxton mourning on the death of her lover, while remembering the good times they had together. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Braxton also performed the song --> Braxton performed the song... — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No change. I left it as this: "Braxton performed the song on the opening ceremony of the 1997 Billboard Music Awards." it's well written. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:33, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

Background

"Un-Break My Heart" was written by Diane Warren in 1995. When asked about her songwriting process, she said that songs usually come to her from a title, a chorus or a drum beat. --> Are these sentences taken from reference #1? Or some other? Because they are unsourced. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've checked ref #1 and they come from it. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

Warren wrote the song "as both a balland and a dance tune, as that's the way I heard it;" ---> sounds awkward. I suggest: Warren further explained that she wrote "Un-Break My Heart" as a ballad and dance song, because that was the way she heard it. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Modified. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

however, she said that "some people only know it as a – gay – dance song!" ---> Maybe some explanation about this, cause I can't understand it. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Warren told that in the interview. So i don't know... --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The songwriter then played the finished song to Arista Records president Clive Davis, who thought it would be perfect for Braxton's album ---> When Warren played the finished song to Arista Records' president Clive Davis, he thought that the song would fit Braxton's then upcoming album. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Modified. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

The track was then sent to the singer, who expressed her dislike for the song. ---> When the "Un-Break My Heart" was sent to Braxton, she expressed dislike for the song. — Tomica (talk) 11:58, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Modified. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

However, the singer talked to Warren following the sessions, and said that she did not wanted another heartbreak track. ---> Following the recording sessions of the song, Braxton talked to Warren and explained why she was skeptical about recording it, with further explanation that she didn't want another "heartbreak track". (Also place these before where the song was recorded, it will read better with the rest of the paragraph).— Tomica (talk) 20:59, 16 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Modified with a slight change. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC) Done[reply]

"Un-Break My Heart" was released as the second single from Secrets on July 10, 1996. --> Maybe some information where it was released? In which forms? — Tomica (talk) 20:59, 16 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

In 1996, the main formats were vinyl and CD, so likely those weree the formats. I'll be checking in that. --Hahc21 (talk) 14:27, 2 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Composition ---> Composition and remixes

...power ballad that lasts for four minutes and twenty seconds. ---> power ballad with a length of four minutes and twenty seconds. 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 19:57, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

the sheet music is published by Alfred Publishing Co., Inc., not Realsongs and capitalize M also (Musicnotes.com).— Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done I have a question. Is it really necessary to say "according to a music sheet..."? wouldn't just say "the song is composed in..." directly. It is backed by the reference anyway. --Hahc21 (talk) 19:57, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

According to sheet music published by Realsongs at musicnotes.com, "Un-Break My Heart" is composed in the key of B minor and is set in time signature of common time with a moderately slow tempo of 55 beats per minute, while Braxton' vocal range spans from the low-key of D3 to the high-note of D5. ---> Make two separate sentences from this. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 19:57, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The song was also remixed --> remove also. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 19:57, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

...and lasts for over nine minutes ---> with a length of over nine minutes.— Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done I chose to put it as "The "Soul-Hex Vocal Anthem" remix, with a lentgh over nine minutes, was influenced by tribal house music;", because the other way it created confusion.--Hahc21 (talk) 19:57, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

on the album ---> Maybe better if you say Secrets? — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 19:57, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Critical response

to the song and joked, ---> use colon instead of comma here. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Author Bob McCann ---> Author of what?! — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I think that the positive reviews should come first instead of the negative, so switch the paragraphs. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Also (optional), paraphrase some of the quotes since there are too many. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Chart Performance

weeks,from ---> space
Fixed - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:31, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Belgium (Wallonia) Europe, ---> I guess comma is missing here. And also, it would sound better If you say the European Hot 100 Singles, since Europe is a continent, not country. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:31, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
in the The Official Charts Company from the United Kingdom, ---> you mean on the UK Singles Chart, right?
Fixed - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:31, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
How do you mean the song reached number two in the UK when in the charts says 1? — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It reached number two, it was wrong in the table. Fixed - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:31, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Make the main paragraph Promotion and then sub-paragraphs Music video and Live Performances

Fixed (not by me) - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:31, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Twister should not be italicized. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 20:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

through MTV ---> Maybe on MTV would sound better? — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 20:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Covers

was only ---> Only is not needed here. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 20:11, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Track listings

looks fine, but as I said, the Release history section is needed. Please create it. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Done - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:40, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

Since now separate peak tables are using for each year, can you split the one from 1996 and 1997 in separate tables? — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:50, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Separate the Year-End tables. — Tomica (talk) 18:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Hahc21 (talk) 20:11, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Chart procession and succession should go after the references.

Why? --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:42, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Notes (not sure if that's the right name)

1. Should be cite news. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

8. Alfred Publishing Co., Inc should not be italicized. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

9. publisher it's Tribune Company and should be cite news. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

15. Same as 9 — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

22. Remove The from The Official Charts Company. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

41. Link the work and publisher — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

44. Same as 41. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

55. Australian Recording INdustry Association should not be italicized. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Not by me) --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 20:40, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

60. Why is the title italicized, plus publisher is needed. — Tomica (talk) 18:08, 23 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed! Now I have a question, isn't redundant to use two sections with the same title? How can we fix this? - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 16:43, 24 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah it is. But why don't you switch the name of the sections? I think it would be more clarified. — Tomica (talk) 16:49, 24 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All in all

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Progress

Hi! Hey if you need any help on reviewing the article you can tell me. I'm also a reviewer and Good articles mentor. --Hahc21 (talk) 23:33, 29 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yes please. I don't have time to review it, since my exams are coming soon. Can you help me? — Tomica (talk) 08:22, 30 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Of course... I was reviewing Live at Wembley but i'm done on that... :) --Hahc21 (talk) 14:11, 2 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, are you still doing review? If you are not able to continue because of timing, you can let me finish the job and contact the contributors to finish the review... if you like, of course. --Hahc21 (talk) 06:32, 10 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Please continue, I have time now to fix the issues. - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 11:30, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I will continue tonight. — Tomica (talk) 12:31, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, i'll be in touch to bring all the help i can. --Hahc21 (talk) 04:13, 16 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

What happened to the review? No form of progress appears to have been made in ~~over two weeks~~ over one week. Till I Go Home ^talk ^edits 02:10, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I was on my GA vacation doing a thorough review of the GA criteria and related stuff, so i stoped working on GA. About Tomica and the nominator, i have no idea... --Hahc21 ^{[TALK][CONTRIBS]} 02:23, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Obviously I finished the review. I am waiting for Saulo to resolve the queries. — Tomica (talk) 09:06, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

If Saulo doesn't make the final fixes in the next few days, then the article should be failed; he's been given long enough. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 02:03, 10 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry it took me so long and it bothered you guys. I'm adding the release history and it will finally be finished. - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:31, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think everything has been finally fixed. :) - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 02:51, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]