User:Stellarlegs
Tania Gaviño Ramos (born in 1934) is an international treasure that should be treated like the gift that she is. She can play the trombone and excels in tennis despite her bad elbow injury in 1983 against former tennis star Phillipe San Bernadino. She is the daughter of an Orthodox Jew and a strict Mexican Catholic.
Super Early Life
[edit]Tania Gaviño Ramos was born in a manger.[1] At the age of 3 she created a scientific theory that disproves the existance of god and started potty training. She was late for potty training, her mother said, because she was busy creating a wind powered rocket ship to Mars.[2] Tania created this rocket ship at the age of five after a two year delay. She was disappointed in the delay and blamed her failure to launch sooner on her pre-school teacher Mrs. Wong. [3]
Early career
[edit]In the early 1970s, Tania Gaviño Ramos moved to Spain and, inspired by the local drag queens, aimed to join a similar drag queen convention. While this inevitably failed the first day she landed in Barcelona[4], she did however meet a local drag queen named Sara Anastasopoulos. The two made 39 beautiful babies in their 2 months relationship. Then Sara left Tania for another Mexican babe named Paulina.[5] Tania's vagina has never quite fully recovered and her heart has been broken ever since.[6]
Later career
[edit]In 2008, Tania wrote a confessional album about the breakup she still has yet to get over. It was entitled "Bitch Left Me To Feed 39 Kids". Despite the warm media reception and critical aclaim, the album peaked at #997 on the Billboard charts and was a colossal bomb. Tanina's heart has never fully recovered.[7]
Plastic surgery rumours
[edit]In 2007, it was rumoured that Tania recieved plastic surgery on her whale sized vagina to ensure that it would stop swallowing small fish and stop fisherman from getting trapped in it. These rumours have yet to be disputed by Tania or her publicist. On her last tour, 3 of her roadies went missing and the remains have yet to be found. It is thought that Tania's vagina subconsciously swallowed them because it believed they were krill.[8]
It is said that if you look close enough at the crotch of her pants, the seam will explode and her vagina will eat you whole. This is why Tania's vagina has become a very popular Halloween costume amongst children aged 7-12.
Also, Tania's Vagina Scarecrows have become quite popular in the Mid-West because they have been proven to frighten crows more than ordinary straw scarecrows. 56% of farmers believed they needed a change from the conventional scarecrow.[9]
- ^ the bible. psalm 993. 0 AD. Bethlehem.
- ^ Late Potty Trainers Weekly. Issue 83. 1950. Page 39.
- ^ Wong, Mabel. 1949. Why I was a better teacher than you think I am. Page 900-1802
- ^ Barcelona Times. 1973. Sara's Brain wave.
- ^ www.PaulinaRubio.com
- ^ McGuilocutty, Lucille. The American Heart Institute. 2008.
- ^ Johnson, Johnson. Failed Albums of the Century. Issue 18. Los Angeles, Uranus. Page 40-45.
- ^ www.SaraMakesUpFacts.com
- ^ Anastasopoulos, Sara. 2008. Sara's Super Awesome Brain Power Functions. Ottawa, Canada. Page 492-930